Why You Should Never Try To Recreate A Childhood Vacation

While it’s fun to visit days past online and from the comfort of your couch, actual trips down memory lane might be ill-advised. Like, literal trips.

Trying to re-find the magic of childhood family vacations – whether to Disney World or in the great outdoors – might make you wish you’d left the past in the past.

Here’s why you should focus on creating new adventures, rather than reliving old family shenanigans.

1. Motion sickness is a thing.

Now that you’re old, your pain threshold has more than likely decreased. This same logic can be applied to your resilience.

As a youth, rollercoaster after rollercoaster did nothing to hinder your fortitude. Unless sugar-loading occurred before a trip on the tilt-a-whirl, nausea was short lived and all those leaps and dips were merely challenges to be conquered.

Trips to the amusement park as an adult won’t necessarily go as well. After two rounds on the Tower of Terror, you might feel a little weak in the knees. And with ticket prices soaring, you’re gonna want to make it through a whole day at Mickey’s kingdom.

2. Grandma and grandpa aren’t as mobile anymore.

Growing up, vacations were entire family affairs. Your aunt, your weird uncle, and even second cousin Cindy all crammed into one beach house for a week of sun and fun.

But as adults, the novelty has worn off. Everyone’s older, so hours in the sand become the 20 minutes grandma can stand before you have to escort her back to the condo. Your sister would rather read than boogie board, and the only high point – alcohol – is frowned upon in front of the relatives. Plus, who wants to see dad in a bathing suit?

3. 10 hours in the car can seem like 10 years.

Millennials grew up amid the changing tides of automobile technology. Kids could watch movies from their backseat perch while Mom and Dad argued over maps and exits. After a long nap and a stop at McDonalds, as if by magic, you were at your vacation destination.

Road trips past age 20 aren’t quite as alluring. Driver’s license? Great, you can get behind the wheel. And while your parents have you alone, have they told you about Mrs. Davidson’s son who’s in medical school and single? Oh, and those fast food stops? Not as fun when metabolism is in play.

4. You can’t get off the boat.

While the unlimited food aspect of a cruise will always be appealing, the whole five-days-on-a-boat-with-no-escape thing? Not so much.

With a daily list of activities scheduled for every hour, you’ll find yourself appeasing mom at group trivia and pleasing dad as his buddy for the technology for seniors workshop. In reality, though, all you want is a spot at the craps table. And don’t forget formal night!

5. Posing with mascots is borderline creepy.

Getting in line with a gaggle of grade schoolers and their patient parents to meet a college intern dressed as a walking dog is mildly inappropriate for grown adults.

Yes, we get it, you’re a Frozen fan, but so are the six-year-olds stuck behind you in the queue.

6. Everything’s wet.

A haven for pre-teens, the waterpark brings wet and wild fun. It’s hard to have a care in the world when you’re speeding down a 40-foot drop toward a pool of lukewarm water.

But now you’re a grown up. 10-year-olds are shoving you out of the way and splashing water into your eyes. The over-chlorinated wave pool is a little packed and everything’s wet in the bathroom. Everything. Also, is that pee?

7. Tents are small and bugs, rodents, and lizards are big.

As a child, everything about nature is fascinating. The woods are perfect for exploring, and making a temporary home in the wilderness is so appealing. Camping means a campfire and s’mores and scary ghost stories.

But, with age, the non-outdoorsy folk are weeded out from the explorers. Whether you’re in the backyard or amongst the Redwoods, cramming into a tent with your siblings loses its appeal. You might long for electricity or spend all night pondering what’s just beyond that thin, fabric wall. (Hint: it’s bugs.)

Have you foolishly tried to recreate a beloved childhood excursion or been forced to? Let us know about your pain in the comment section.