The simplest things can trigger an unexpected trip through the bittersweet mines of nostalgia. One of those is the joy of squeezing a toasted marshmallow and a piece of chocolate in between two graham crackers and creating a s’more. That quick and easy process, with a substantial reward, was never explained as elegantly as it was by Hamilton “Ham” Porter (Patrick Renna) in The Sandlot, as he made it his duty to educate “Scotty” Smalls on a childhood ritual he’d missed completely.
It’s a scene that we all remember vividly, and it doesn’t need any particular segue to talk about because it will always be relevant. But today is National S’mores Day, so why not breakdown that key moment and then see about updating Ham’s recipe.
“You Wanna S‘more?”/”S’more What?”
Basically, this is the ’90s kid version of “Who’s On First?”
“You’re Killing Me, Smalls.”
Ham’s catchphrase, quickly identified as being from the movie, thanks to Sandlot t-shirts, keychains, and vintage talking Ham action figures that I just made up. You may also recall seeing the line all over the internet when “Smalls” actor Tom Guiry got arrested for allegedly headbutting a cop.
It’s pretty damn impressive that Ham is able to make a delicious dessert with a candle, what looks like a wire hanger, a marshmallow (heretofore known as a mallow), a candy bar, and a graham cracker, but I feel like Squints’ dumbfounded look may be a bit of an oversell. Look at Benny the Jet in the clip below, laying on the floor barely in the shot, looking on without awe. But that’s Benny. He’s always cool.
Ham’s S’More Recipe
Take a look at Ham’s lesson, and get ready to find out about “s’more” ingredients for the campfire treat, in case you wanted to try something different to celebrate the holiday.
So, how do you replicate a graham cracker-chocolate-marshmallow “Ham” sandwich/also known as a S’More?
- Take the graham cracker.
- Stick two pieces of chocolate on the graham cracker.
- Roast the marshmallow.
- Find a bespectacled kid to stare at you.
- When the marshmallow is “flaming,” stick it on the chocolate.
- Completely ignore everyone in the room who asks you to make one for them.
- Add the second graham cracker and scarf.
Sound good? Go make one!