Anthony Bourdain is not known for holding back his astute opinion on most matters. Donald Trump is not known for being astute. Bourdain was recently quizzed on his thoughts about his fellow New Yorker, Donald “I-Hate-Everything” Trump. Bourdain wants a sit down with Donald.
We’ve seen this guy for 30 years — how he treats people, what he says and what he does, how he does business every day. So he’s one of ours. Yeah, I’d like to have lunch with that…I’d like to feed him steak tartare.
Bourdain wants Donald on his turf, hold the surf #sorrynotsorry. What would they dine on for the tête-à-tête? The succulent unctuous delight of raw steak minced and mixed with spices and a raw egg yolk — the steak tartare.
Donald is known to be a food neophyte when it comes to eating, well, anything. He is a massive germaphobe and is prone to bizarre eating habits. He insists on eating his steak well done. I can’t even imagine the disdain restauranteurs around the world must have for the man after he orders them to destroy their well-aged beef. I take solace in knowing from my own experience working in kitchens that anyone who orders their steak well done is getting the sh*ttiest and oldest cut of meat on site.
Donald indulges in McDonalds and KFC on the reg. You know, I am not a hypocrite. I eat fast food just like everyone else. And like everyone else I am haunted by the ghosts of a billion feedlot cows afterward. I feel the shame. Then that shame fades as my belly fills with whiskey and I find myself at Jack In The Box eating a Sourdough Jack at 2AM. Hey, I’m only human, damn it.