Anthony Bourdain is not known for holding back his astute opinion on most matters. Donald Trump is not known for being astute. Bourdain was recently quizzed on his thoughts about his fellow New Yorker, Donald “I-Hate-Everything” Trump. Bourdain wants a sit down with Donald.
We’ve seen this guy for 30 years — how he treats people, what he says and what he does, how he does business every day. So he’s one of ours. Yeah, I’d like to have lunch with that…I’d like to feed him steak tartare.
Bourdain wants Donald on his turf, hold the surf #sorrynotsorry. What would they dine on for the tête-à-tête? The succulent unctuous delight of raw steak minced and mixed with spices and a raw egg yolk — the steak tartare.
Donald is known to be a food neophyte when it comes to eating, well, anything. He is a massive germaphobe and is prone to bizarre eating habits. He insists on eating his steak well done. I can’t even imagine the disdain restauranteurs around the world must have for the man after he orders them to destroy their well-aged beef. I take solace in knowing from my own experience working in kitchens that anyone who orders their steak well done is getting the sh*ttiest and oldest cut of meat on site.
Donald indulges in McDonalds and KFC on the reg. You know, I am not a hypocrite. I eat fast food just like everyone else. And like everyone else I am haunted by the ghosts of a billion feedlot cows afterward. I feel the shame. Then that shame fades as my belly fills with whiskey and I find myself at Jack In The Box eating a Sourdough Jack at 2AM. Hey, I’m only human, damn it.
Donald’s love of fast food comes from what he claims are the cleanliness and consistency of the establishments.
One bad hamburger, you can destroy McDonald’s. One bad hamburger and you take Wendy’s and all these other places and they’re out of business. I like cleanliness, and I think you’re better off going there than maybe some place that you have no idea where the food is coming from.
Um, sorry Donald, but you’re as full of sh*t as McDonald’s hamburgers were during their 1982 e. coli outbreak. Remember when Jack In The Box killed some kids in 1993? Because, guess what, they’re still 100% in business. Or Burger King in 1997. Or KFC in 1999. Or Sizzler in 2000. Or Wendy’s in 2006. Or Taco Bell, Jimmy John’s, and Chipotle??? As per usual Trump’s basis for making his own life decisions are based in some form of demented reality where he’s convinced himself of something that is contrary to any semblance of the real world.
The United States went through a pretty rough time culinarily post-WWII. We exchanged authenticity and entire subsets of cuisine for convenience and “safety.” Advertisers trying to sell us more soap turned us into germaphobes, even toward the bacteria we need to function. Donald is solidly planted in the world of belief over fact. But, that’s not news.
Bourdain wanting to expand Donald’s culinary horizons is a noble gesture that’s likely to fall on deaf, ignorant, and very orange ears. I’d love to see the two sit down and hash it out like a couple old school New Yorkers over some steak tartare, pickles, and diner coffee. Maybe he can inform Donald that ordering his steak well done ensures his beef is going to be dirty and old. But ordering it tartare will ensure it’s clean, handled exactly right, and fresh.
I would suggest Bourdain call up his bestie Eric Ripert to prepare it table side using this Thai-infused recipe. I hope only chopsticks are available.
I use that recipe all the time. It’s simple, delicious, and a perfect intro to the dish.