Starbucks, you might have finally gone too far. We’ve sat back and watched as you unveiled brightly-colored drink after drink and we’ve said nothing. We, like the rest of the internet, enjoyed the “Pink Drink” (and the cavalcade of similar drinks) and were very happy to see it finally added to the regular menu. We even tolerated the “Cherry Pie Frappucino” — if you bake a pastry on top of a drink you get a pass. But, with the addition of the so called “Unicorn Frappucino,” just like Arthur Fonzarelli, you may have finally jumped the shark.
[As you read this, you’re probably at least vaguely aware of the term “jump the shark.” Figuratively, it means that you’re attempting to draw attention to something that’s past its peak. You’re grasping at straws. Like on the hit TV show Happy Days, when Henry Winkler’s character (Fonzie) literally jumps over a shark on a pair of skis.]
We’re not positive, but we believe that at some point Starbuck’s was a coffee shop. You could walk in, order a coffee-based drink, pay and the baristas would make it for you. You’d slowly sip on your caffeinated beverage and go on with your day feeling energized and alert. Apparently, that is no longer the case.
This week, the Seattle-based chain unveiled the ‘Unicorn Frappucino.” Well, technically, they haven’t announced it yet. But, it’s already been spotted on twitter and has its own subreddit. It’s been described as tasting similar to Skittles, but with an added sour flavor. Aren’t unicorns supposed to be mythical? Maybe this one should have stayed hidden deep in the woods.
If you believe Twitter, some Starbuck’s have already begun selling the drink.
While others eagerly await this “Tropical Skittles”-flavored monstrosity.
According to photos, it appears that (like “Pink Drink”) this beverage has a pink base with swirls of purple and blue and also comes with whipped cream and rainbow dust-like sprinkles. On Reddit, it has even gained the moniker “The Lisa Frank Frap” after the bright, flashy artwork that adorned trapper keepers and various other school supplies from coast to coast in the 80s and 90s. The flavor is still up for debate. But one thing is for sure. It definitely does not taste like coffee.