Starbucks’ New Cherry Pie Frappuccino Deserves Your Love And Adoration

Somehow Starbucks possesses a uniquely uncanny ability to remain constantly relevant, no matter what. The coffee purveyors are either making headlines for their controversial cups and political platforms, or they’re releasing a fabulous new drink for you and even one for your dog. Any way you look at it, Starbucks’ Mary Poppins bag of tricks is pretty impressive.

Included in that bag of tricks is Starbucks’ latest concoction — the Cherry Pie Frappuccino. Just when you thought you saw everything, Starbucks has decided to break out the most decadent beverage within reason. According to reports, the Cherry Pie Frappuccino consists of layers of cherry compote, a vanilla-flavored Frap cream base, and whipped cream. All these layers are carefully nestled under a PIE CRUST DOME! Customers must jam their straw through the dome, causing the crust to flake and crumble much like it would if you dove fork-first into a fresh cherry pie.

Can you imagine this idea developing? It’s as if a Starbucks executive walked into an elementary school classroom and asked the kids to draw their favorite food. Obviously confusing the word “food” for “whimsical desserty milkshake,” some eight-year-old came up with a pie crust dome and just like that, Starbucks had their newest, sugary, novelty beverage.

Unfortunately, the Cherry Pie Frappuccino is not available in the United States, although if we try hard enough, maybe we can make it happen. It’s only available at Starbucks, Japan, where the drink reflects Japan’s cherry blossom season. Coincidentally, there are also cherry blossoms here in the United States. People in D.C. go completely nutso about it. So maybe, Starbucks, if you’re reading this, we you can share the pie drinking wealth?