Pre-Peeled Oranges Confirm Everything You Hate About Whole Foods

Whole Foods Lower Its Earnings Expectations Amid Increased Competition
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Whole Foods loves doing ridiculous things. It’s almost as if they’re testing us to see how far they can push the limits. And they keep crossing the imaginary line of how much insufferable hipster sh*t we can handle.

Remember when they were selling $6 asparagus water? Seriously, if I wanted water infused with vegetables, I’d just pour the water that’s been soaking my dishes for the last three days straight down my gullet.

How about the fact that they sell vinyl records in select stores? Nothing says, “I’m a big-time, genuine music lover” quite like an impromptu vinyl purchase to accompany your cantaloupe.

Whole Foods’ most recent culinary blunder came after a tweet by regular person and bacon lover, Nathalie Gordon, featuring a picture of $6 packaged, peeled oranges went viral.

While most people are appalled by the amount of unnecessary waste produced by this citrus absurdity, others are arguing that not everyone has the dexterity to peel an orange, so we shouldn’t be so critical.

COME ON! The implication that a person can’t peel an orange inherently implies that they also cannot open those stupid plastic containers. How are there people defending this insanity?

What people seem to have missed in all of this is the precedent this could set. Oranges are a wonderful fruit largely because they are self-packaging. We don’t have to worry about ingesting what’s on the outside of them because, unless we’re super wacky, we don’t eat the outside of them!

This applies to several other wonderful fruits, and if pre-peeled oranges become a thing, there’s no telling how far it could go. For real, though, if pre-peeled, fully packaged bananas (in all their gooey, smelly glory) start showing up in Whole Foods, there better be a coup.

Thankfully, the oranges have been pulled from shelves, but the next time Whole Foods tries to share their values with you, it’s worth remembering that these guys put individual oranges in plastic tubs.