Billie Eilish Was Really Excited To Have Blonde Hair, But ‘It Did Not Go How I Wanted It To Go’

Billie Eilish was not “Happier Than Ever” about her blond hair.

The seven-time Grammy winner has frequently changed the color of her hair since releasing her first single in 2015 — my favorite remains the vibrant green — including going blonde. Looking back at the change two years later, Eilish told the Los Angeles Times, “I was really excited for the blonde era — like, Blonde Billie is gonna be so cool. But it did not go how I wanted it to go.”

The “What Was I Made For?” singer said that she “completely had no idea who I was. I came up with this whole aesthetic, and I just got swallowed up into it.” She tried being a brunette, but “I look back at that and I’m like, ‘Who is this brunette?’ A brunette! That wasn’t me.” Eilish is now back to black hair.

Elsewhere in the interview, Eilish discussed reading Kurt Cobain’s suicide note. “It’s horrifying. I mean, all of it is the most tragic sh*t I’ve ever heard. He was such a pure person and talent, and I feel so much deep, deep, deep sorrow for him and his life and where it went,” she said about the Nirvana singer. “In the letter he’s like, ‘I have everything in the world, and I absolutely hate it.’ He was so ashamed that he wasn’t enjoying it.” Eilish added, “And I get why he was feeling that way. It’s just not what you think it’s going to be.”