08.13.08 10 years ago 14 Comments

The new GQ magazine, when not lauding Kissing Suzy Kolber for being one of the reasons that "football is better than ever," includes a feature on Vikings running back Adrian Peterson written by Lisa DePaulo.  It covers the tragic deaths of two of Peterson's brothers and the grace and humility he shows at a country club fundraiser.  All in all, it's not a bad profile — save for some hormones that DePaulo couldn't quite contain.

And this scar over here? (I am running my fingers across Adrian Peterson’s perfectly taut and butter-smooth neck and shoulders, and I will spare you the rest of the gory details, except to say: It’s awesome!)

“I dislocated my shoulder.”

How many scars are there?

“Let’s see. You mean the scars from my shoulder surgery, or just all over?”

A girl can dream.

He obligingly takes his shirt off next, because the tour of Adrian’s body would not be complete without a word about the tattoos… [On his back is] daddy’s little angel, in honor of his 4-year-old daughter, Adeja, whom he had “with my high school sweetheart” (a.k.a. “my baby mama”) whom he still loves, but it just didn’t work out.

Got a girlfriend now?

Whoa, someone put a bridle on that filly.  Sure, I understand a writer's tendency to be honest about his or her subject, but let's keep in mind her audience.  What, is GQ supposed to be targeted to gay men or something?  It is?  Oh.

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