05.31.07 11 years ago 45 Comments

NiShea Gilbert, the Nubian beauty you see here and the wife of Devil Rays rookie Elijah Dukes, has received a one-year protective order and filed for divorce from the outfielder, thus ending America's love affair with their love affair.  And by "their love affair" I mean "death threat voice mails."  But by America's love affair I genuinely mean love affair.  As we close the books on this modern-day Camelot, let's look back — just one last time — on some of Elijah's sweet nothings to his bride:

"Hey, dawg. It's on, dawg. You dead, dawg. I ain't even bulls——-. Your kids too, dawg. It don't even matter to me who is in the car with you. N—–, all I know is, n—–, when I see your m—–f——- a– riding, dawg, it's on. As a matter of fact, I'm coming to your m—–f—— house."

Fare thee well, NiShea.  I doubt you can find another handsome prince like Elijah or me, but I wish you luck nonetheless.

As for Dukes?  He's just doing his thing, man.  Besides cussing out reporters and getting a game-winning hit, he was also arrested this week for marijuana possession after a traffic stop.  It is unclear whether he was on his way to NiShea's m—–f—— house at the time.

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