01.14.09 9 years ago 17 Comments

“I now have this many strands of herpes”

Few people in all of baseball — hell, in all the world — have been paid so much to do so little as Giants pitcher Barry Zito, but this is way more astounding and unforgivable than the $14.5M he made last year to lead the NL in losses: he’s rumored to be dating… **burps up some vomit** … Paris Hilton.  People says:

Paris Hilton was all over San Francisco Giants’ baseball star Barry Zito at the grand opening of MyHouse, a new Hollywood nightspot. Whether it was drinking, hugging, whispering, laughing or holding hands, the two were focused only on each other – and Hilton looked really happy, a clubgoer tells us. The heiress flitted from table to table, chatting with fellow revelers like Tyson Beckford and Kim Kardashian, though she never left Zito’s side for too long.

As much as the name “Paris Hilton” sickens me to even type, I suppose this makes sense.  She’s gotta make Zito feel better about himself.  Him: “I dunno, the way I pitched last year, I’m not sure I earned my millions of dollars.”  Her: “What’s ‘earn’?”

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