Finally, A Championship The BCS Can't Ruin

Senior Writer
09.13.10 9 Comments

Tammy Morris is a woman with vision and passion. And her vision and passion both involve the idea of women having dollar bills crammed in their cracks for the purpose of giving horny businessmen boners. She’s hosting the 2010 Miss Pole Dance Canada competition next weekend, and she’s hellbent on proving that pole dancing is a legitimate fitness routine that doesn’t have to involve stripping and grinding and boner-inducing, despite, you know, being created by women who are strippers, grinders and boner-inducers.

Tammy’s competition is unique in that it won’t allow “g-strings, nudity or provocative gestures.” Responded Pacman Jones, “Well, what the f*ck?” Sixteen women will grease their way to Vancouver, British Columbia on Saturday to show off their “fitness” skills. And to prove that it’s all about the workout and not about bouncing titties, only four of the girls competing have experience as strippers. What’s that? They prefer to be called exotic dancers? Well their dads would have preferred to have sons.

Report to the stage in five minutes, UPI, but up next we’ve got Jasmine and her filthy erotic python:

Morris has turned the sexy adult-entertainment style of dance into a legitimate workout regimen becoming booming business across North America, the newspaper said.

Morris says the pole will eventually be de-sexualized at the gym.

In related news, 6 million Japanese men just bought gym memberships in Vancouver.

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