Game of Thrones may have already wrapped up its seventh season, but our old school MMA tournament featuring the greatest warriors in GoT history is still going strong (and not at all due to a scheduling error made when this was launched, why do you ask). We’re down to our final four fighters — The King in the North, The Great Rider, The Oathkeeper, and The Joke You People Won’t Let Die — so let’s get to our final two matchups!
Jon Snow vs. Khal Drogo
Talk about a fight with a pretty clear and compelling storyline behind it. It’s the past meets the present. The former husband vs. the future husband slash current nephew. It’s Scott Alwaysgrim vs. The Known World.
In one corner, you have the mighty Khal Drogo, the original. After purchasing Daenerys Targaryen as a sex slave, Drogo successfully Stockholm’d her to such a degree that she eventually burned herself alive in a funeral pyre for him — which in the world of Game of Thrones, is as close to a storybook romance as one can hope to have. Though he hasn’t been dominating anyone in this tournament, Drogo’s path to the fiery four includes victories over Davos Seaworth, Jorah Mormont, and Baristan Selmy.
In the other corner, you have Jon Snow, a man who stole Daenerys’ heart in a far simpler and more sensible manner: by refusing to recognize her authority and embarking on a series of poorly planned quests that resulted in the death of one of her children. But fret not, because they’re also related! I can’t even begin to imagine the horrors that lie within George R.R. Martin’s browsing history.
Anyways, here’s a photo of the two of them in simpler times.
Oberyn Martell vs. Wun Wun
So this is how it’s gonna be, huh? It appears my passionate plea to dissuade any and all votes for Wun Wun fell on deaf ears last week. Perhaps it’s for the best. Perhaps it’s for the best that a fourteen-foot tall giant possessing the strength of twelve men would win a tournament based purely around hand-to-hand combat. It’s certainly the most logical option, and God knows that MMA fans are logical if nothing else.
Nevermind the fact that Oberyn Martell is the only person in this tournament that would actually stand a chance against Wun Wun in a fight. Nevermind that he had The Mountain beat before his arrogance cost him the fight. Nevermind that rumors that Wun Wun emerged from his fight against Brienne of Tarth with a cracked skull, a blown ACL, and typhoid fever last week. Just vote the damn tree giant through to the finals and let’s get this over with.