NO F–KING THANK YOU

01.23.07 11 years ago 8 Comments

A Slovenian man named Martin Strel is planning an epic journey during which he'll swim the length of the Amazon River in the name of… world peace?

Strel plans to swim 3,375 miles down the world's greatest river, defying piranhas, snakes, crocodiles and even sharks. Buckets of animal blood will be loaded onto support boats to distract flesh-eating fish and reptiles during the 52-year-old's 70-day odyssey — which would break his own world length record for a swim.

Out of curiosity, just how much animal blood is TEN WEEKS of animal blood? Would twenty elevators from The Shining be enough? Good Lord. He's got to have a flotilla of 55-gallon drums full of chum. (Heh, "chumdrums.")

[Stel] says on his Web site that he has "a dream" — proving to the world that nothing is impossible and that the world can one day live in peace.

Sounds great, Marty. Hey, somebody alert the West Bank. Once the Israelis and Palestinians see this guy devoured by piranha they'll totally get along.

UPDATE: I found a YouTube video promoting the swim after the jump

That's great. Makes it seem like Martin will also have to dodge blow gun darts from indigenous tribesmen. "Yeah, the snakes and crocodiles are dangerous, but what we're really worried about are the savages who may or may not try to eat him." Didn't really need to push the racist angle. I already thought it was dangerous.

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