This Week In Chicks Who Bang Athletes

Senior Writer
09.01.10 4 Comments

Jay Cutler, that lovable turnover machine, has found his way to the tabloids with news that he set himself up on a date with reality television star celebrity female Kristin Cavallari. According to various reports, the dashing darling of defensive backs has had a crush on Cavallari for a while, so he reached out to her to see if she had time in her busy schedule of doing absolutely nothing to meet up after the Chicago Bears recent preseason game against the Arizona Cardinals. And Cutler must have thrown down the smoothest of moves, because a girl like Cavallari doesn’t just fall for any random person with remote fame that pops into her life. She’s bona fide H-list status, friends.

And it gets even better, he’s already met her mom! Oh I know, I can hear the wedding bells ringing at St. James Cathedral already. Tell us, Zimbio, were they getting their freak on in public?

Apparently Jay even met Kristin’s mom the same day they met at the meet-and-greet event, since the former Hills star was in town visiting her parents. So, at least they’ve got that part out of the way already.

Their first official date was last night, and sources say they were “kissing all night” during the group outing to Angels and Kings bar in Chicago.

Oh no they didn’t! But we all know that it’s impossible to take gossip blogs at their word, so I went right to the source and asked my good friend J-Cutty if he’d give With Leather the exclusive insight into this newfound love:

“Saps, brodaggy. So check it before you wreck it, the ‘bloids are all up in J-Cutty’s grill, tryin’ to be all Woodrow and Bernstone, and they just need to leave me and Kristin Calamari alone, all right? What happens between a duder and his pooter is between them, bro bro. Like J-Cutty’s old man bro used to say, ‘A gentledude never kisses and then burps in his broham’s face.’ Words to live by, Bro Jackson. And even if me and Kristin did do a standing piledriver while watching Entourage, it’s none of your bees wax, Bro…dy Jenner. Wait, what? J-Cutty does two things – throws picks and bangs chicks. I’m out.”

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