10.25.07 10 years ago 36 Comments

Similar to the potential urinal shortage faced by Penn State this weekend, the planners of soccers Euro 2008 are marketing a product called the Roadbag to offer fans bladder relief.

Toilets will be in short supply when thousands of fans gather in the public viewing zones during the upcoming Euro 2008 European [Soccer] Championship in Austria and Switzerland… In case of an urgent bathroom break, men can relieve themselves into the bag via a 5.5 centimetre wide opening. Polymer crystals in the bag condense urine to an odourless gel, making the emergency bag disposable in the next [trash can].

5.5 centimeters… can someone tell me what that is in some meaningful term like inches?  It had better be pretty wide, like an industrial downspout designed for monsoon season. Because I'm not gonna lie, my cock is gigantic.  Seriously, it saved Tokyo from Godzilla once.  Why do you think I score with so many Japanese girls?  They simply can't get enough of my odorless gel.

(Sorry about the brackets in the quote, by the way.  I just get really pissed when English people think they can get away with bullshit like "football" and "rubbish bin."  Seriously, rubbish bin?  Well, la dee dah, fancy a fox hunt, guvna?)

[The Offside

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