02.11.09 10 years ago

Dog walks up to a horse and says, “Why the long face?” Horse: “I have a terrible drinking problem.”

Robert Lachky, Budweiser’s Chief Creative Officer and the man who was primarily responsible for which Budweiser commercials were aired for the last decade-plus, is leaving the company.  Woo-hoo!  First order of business: murder all horses and dalmatians.

He has supervised the creative development of innumerable spots for brands like Budweiser, Bud Light, Bud Select and Michelob Ultra, particularly for the Super Bowl each year…

The beer commercials developed under Mr. Lachky have been filled with physical humor, sentiment, music and catch phrases like “I love you, man,” “Yes, I am” and “Whassup?” The stars of the spots include Cedric the Entertainer, Carlos Mencia, Jay-Z and, on the non-human side, frogs, lizards, the Budweiser Clydesdale horses and the Bud Dalmatian.

God, I hate the stupid horses.  HORSES DON’T PLAY FOOTBALL OR FALL IN LOVE OR FETCH STICKS!!!!  Seriously, the only way this could be better news is if the entire Budweiser creative team died in a plane crash, or a toxic waste spill, or an electrical fire, or in a completely random pipe bomb attack.  Yup, totally random.  In fact, I don’t know anything about any pipe bomb, officer.

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