The Rundown: Hell Yes, The New Season Of ‘Fargo’ Looks So Good

The Rundown is a weekly column that highlights some of the biggest, weirdest, and most notable events of the week in entertainment. The number of items could vary, as could the subject matter. It will not always make a ton of sense. Some items might not even be about entertainment, to be honest, or from this week. The important thing is that it’s Friday, and we are here to have some fun.

ITEM NUMBER ONE – GIMME

The new season of Fargo premieres on November 21, which is nice because it’s been a long time since the wonderfully weird show has been on our televisions and it’s nice to have a firm date for its return, but it’s also terrible because that is like two months away and I WANT IT NOW. It looks so good. That’s not really a big surprise because every season of Fargo has been good and just littered with perfect casting and hilarious character names, which is all I have ever asked for out of a television show, but still. This season looks extra good.

Check out the first teaser that dropped last week:

What we have here:

• Ted Lasso star Juno Temple doing an incredible Midwestern accent
• Brandishing a gun that was hidden in her kitchen
• Holding a baseball bat with nails pounded through and sticking out of the barrel

This is good stuff. As is this, from a conversation with the producer about how excited he is about working with her and the character she is playing.

Temple, known for her comedic turns in Ted Lasso as well as her grit in The Offer, quickly emerged as the obvious choice for Dot, a seemingly innocent woman whose past comes back to haunt her after she gets in trouble with local authorities.

Sounds great. And I was already excited about it even before, well, this…

What we have here:

• Jon Hamm as a sheriff
• Stealing bacon off of someone’s plate
• Wearing a belt buckle that says “A Hard Man For Hard Times”

I have talked about some of this before. A lot, actually. I get really excited about Jon Hamm. As I do when I see stuff like this from that same piece about the upcoming season.

“Jon Hamm is Jon Hamm. Every actor should have a resume like that. I mean, remarkable,” Littlefield says. “Dot needs a great adversary to tell this story and we felt that Jon could really sing from that hymnal, that he could be that North Dakota sheriff who really, really bought into an entire world philosophy, a rigidity, and he has an ax to grind and so he is such a critical pillar in Dot’s story, the reveal of who she is, what is her past.”

And it all has me just really, really pumped for all of it. More pumped than I am for the new season of True Detective, which also dropped a new trailer this week. Fargo has always been just so good and weird in ways that no other show has been. It’s unique in a time where that’s been harder to do, just given the massive amount of stuff out there. And it has Joe Keery from Stranger Things as a character named Gator Tillman. That counts for something, too.

Fargo is coming back. This is good news. Let’s get jacked up.

ITEM NUMBER TWO – Let’s throw a party at Shrek’s house

Okay, facts first, quickly, via bullet point, because I refuse to risk ruining our fun with too much actual information:

• Airbnb is currently offering a free three-night stay in Shrek’s Swamp from October 27 to 29
• All you would have to pay for is the transportation to and from
• This has nothing to do with the offer but it feels like a good time to remind you that someone stole a giant Shrek statue earlier this year
• Let’s all put our names in here and throw a huge party in Shrek’s swamp

Details via Airbnb:

Located in the hills of the Scottish Highlands, Shrek’s Swamp is a stumpy, secluded haven fit for a solitude-seeking ogre… and for the first time ever, a handful of his biggest fans, thanks to yours truly. I’m swamp-sitting while Shrek’s away this Halloween, and I’m absolutely delighted to invite you in for a fairytale stay. Oh, and never mind the “BEWARE” signs. They’re probably for decoration.

God yes.

Let’s throw an absolute rager in the swamp.

Think about how fun this would be to explain to people for the rest of your life.

And it gets better…

Once you arrive and check-in, our on-site concierge will ensure a comfortable stay for you and your pals – including showing you around and arranging meals. Please note that toilet, sink and shower facilities will be located off-site, approximately 20 meters away from Shrek’s Swamp.

Two things are true here:

NUMBER ONE: This kind of deal should be offered for all popular movie characters, where you can stay in their house for a weekend, and yes I am already planning a barbecue at Dominic Toretto’s house

NUMBER TWO: The bathroom being “20 meters from Shrek’s Swamp” is hilarious and pretty much guarantees that someone is peeing in a corner of the living room.

Just a lovely series of developments here.

ITEM NUMBER THREE – I need you to get a real good mental image of this

People Magazine has a little interview with Arnold Schwarzenegger to promote his new motivational self-help book, which is already a hilarious collection of words, and you are welcome to go read it all, but I need to direct your attention to this specific excerpt from the whole thing about the time he punished his son — Patrick, star of the new The Boys spinoff, Gen V — by heaving his entire mattress out the window.

“I opened up the door to the balcony, picked up the mattress and threw it down with the bedsheets, the pillows, everything. I said, don’t ever make someone come in and clean your room, clean your shower or make your bed,” he shares. “I said, ‘Because I taught you how to make the bed.’ “

I’ve been thinking about this a lot since I read it earlier in the week and I think this is my biggest takeaway…

Imagine being Arnold Schwarzenegger’s neighbor and you’re stumbling outside in your robe all groggy one morning to grab the newspaper from your driveway, and suddenly you hear loud yelling — in Arnold’s voice, with his accent — and you glance over toward his house and see him shoving an entire mattress out of a second-story window. Think about how you would begin to process that. Really crank away on it in your brain for a while.

And then, when you get a good mental image of all that, sprinkle this in, too…

He also recalls contention with Patrick over his long, hot showers, telling his son, “It’s over, no more showers. Five minutes, one shower, and then that’s it and we’re turning it off.”

I honestly do not know if I’ll ever stop hearing the phrase “It’s over, no more showers” in my head in Arnold Schwarzenegger’s voice. You’re probably hearing it right now, too. It’s really delightful. “IT’S OVUH. NUH MOAH SHOWUHS.” That should have been the title of his motivational book. Or a ringtone you can buy for like 99 cents. Or both. Just tossing out some options here.

ITEM NUMBER FOUR – Let’s check in with Yellowstone…

CBS starting airing reruns of Yellowstone this month, mostly because the hopefully-now-over writers’ strike left them in a bit of a pickle when it came to new shows to plop into the fall schedule, and two important developments have popped up. Important to me, at least. Which is all we are really focused on in this column. So… let’s get to them.

Turns out the show might be headed toward some trouble with the FCC over how often Kelly Reilly’s character, Beth Dutton, lights up a cigarette, which is not a problem on a cable network like Paramount but could be one on network television. Via Decider:

According to the FCC’s website, “stations are prohibited from broadcasting material that promotes certain lotteries,” including advertising the use of cigarettes. This standard is aligned with the Federal Trade Commission’s (FTC) Federal Cigarette Labeling and Advertising Act, which “prohibits any advertising of cigarettes and little cigars on radio, television, or other media regulated by the [FCC].” This targets major networks, such as CBS.

Which is honestly a little hilarious. As is this, from a report in Variety about Peacock attempting to use the Yellowstone re-airings to siphon off some viewers for themselves.

CBS sold national ad time during the program to rival NBCUniversal, which ran a spot highlighting the availability of the Western-themed drama series on its Peacock streaming hub. “Peacock has all episodes of ‘Yellowstone,’” the commercial says via graphics that appear over scenes from the program. “Stream every season now.” Peacock has streaming rights to the program, even though it’s produced by CBS parent Paramount Global, which first airs the series on its TV networks. “This is a declaration of war,” says one “Yellowstone” character at the end of the spot.

As Variety went on to note, this isn’t so much a VIEWERSHIP HEIST as it is a calculated decision by both parties, but still.

Running Peacock’s “Yellowstone” spots might augment Paramount’s revenue. If more people watch the series on the NBC property, executives there might want to extend their rights to the program. And since the CBS episodes are repeats, Paramount executives may have bet the show’s core audience has already watched them — and may be out there streaming something else.

And it appears to be working, too, as a follow-up report revealed both the viewership numbers for CBS and Peacock are through the roof. So there’s really no bad news here. Unless Beth Dutton and her smoke breaks don’t also lead to a spike in tobacco sales. Although, I mean, there would be something funny about that, too.

Lots to consider here.

ITEM NUMBER FIVE – Okay, yes, I’m in

Some notes:

• This is the trailer for the upcoming film Argylle, from the director of the Kingsman movies, Matthew Vaughn
• It looks weird and fun as hell
• It features the song “Suspicious Minds” by Elvis Presley, which rules and should be in most, if not all, movie trailers

Look at this.

The trailer offers more clues as to the plot of Argylle. We learn that Argylle is a fictional super spy dreamed up by introverted writer Elly Conway, whose life is turned upside down when her new book is a little too close to the truth for some real-life spies who begin to hunt her down. Oh, and her cat is along for the ride.

And look at this cast.

Argylle‘s all-star cast includes Henry Cavill, Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Rockwell, Bryan Cranston, Catherine O’Hara, John Cena, Dua Lipa, Ariana DeBose, Samuel L. Jackson and Dua Lipa. The film is Brit music superstar Lipa’s second feature, after she made her debut, alongside Cena, in Barbie.

And look at what Dua Lipa says in the trailer.

Yup, I’m in. I’m not a complicated person.

READER MAIL

If you have questions about television, movies, food, local news, weather, or whatever you want, shoot them to me on Twitter or at brian.grubb@uproxx.com (put “RUNDOWN” in the subject line). I am the first writer to ever answer reader mail in a column. Do not look up this last part.

From KW:

Out of all the crazy local news stories I’m sure you get sent every week, I mean I’ve sent you several over the years, what does it take to end up in THE RUNDOWN? Is there a criteria to be included? Thank you for your time I’ll hang up and listen.

I wish I could tell you there is a science to this. It’s more of a feel thing. You know I love a good heist story, so there’s always that. But, in the absence of theft or something silly or notable, good factors to consider are:

• Animals
• Something openly preposterous
• My beloved Philadelphia sports franchises

All of which, conveniently, brings us to…

AND NOW, THE NEWS

To Philadelphia!

A Philadelphia Phillies fan and his emotional support alligator, Wally, were denied entry into Wednesday’s game against the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Hmm. Yes. This will do nicely. Especially considering we also have a picture of Wally wearing a harness and a leash.

There is more background here, as I discovered by googling all of this and finding a story about Wally and his owner from a few years ago.

A man who answered an e-mail from a reporter about Wally from the website Service Dog Registration of America said, “Our therapist would never approve a client to have an alligator as an emotional support animal. ”

Henney’s doctor did.

“My doctor wanted to put me on depression medicine, and I hate taking medicine. I had Wally, and when I came home and was around him, it was all OK,” he said. “My doctor knew about Wally and figured it works, so why not?”

I have two conflicting thoughts here:

THOUGHT ONE: As someone who also has a disability (spinal cord injury, power wheelchair, the whole deal), it bums me out a little to see the kind of stories where a real and useful thing like support animals can be seen as silly and frivolous

THOUGHT TWO: If this guy and his alligator are happy, good for them.

I dunno, man.

The stadium’s policy on support animals on the Phillies official website states: “Certified service dogs or service dogs in training for guests with special needs are welcome. All other animals are prohibited.”

This is what I mean. It is all very confusing. I would not like to pay for a ticket to a baseball game and be seated next to a man with an alligator. But I did like seeing that picture of an alligator on a leash, though. Lots of difficult issues to process in this story.

In conclusion, go Phillies.