In what may be the single-worst idea for a ridiculously terrible scripted TV show in Hollywood’s long and spectacular history of terrible ideas, Fox is developing an alleged sitcom that will star Wilmer Valderrama as a character based on “Dog Whisperer” Cesar Millan. And I think I speak for everyone when I say, “WOOF.”
Details are still being ironed out, but it appears that Valderrama would play the character based on Millan, who has built a lucrative empire based on his skills as a professional dog trainer…
Project reunites [“Hung” writer Emily] Kapnek with Valderrama; she wrote Fox pilot “The Emancipation of Ernesto” last year for the star, but that series didn’t move forward. [Variety]
And why didn’t that series move forward? I’ll give you a hint: the answer begins with “Wilmer” and ends in “Valderrama.” And the answer is two words long. Give up? It’s Wilmer Valderrama, because he’s f-cking TERRIBLE. When you’re the most annoying member of a cast that includes Ashton Kutcher and Danny Masterson, you deserve to be torn apart by wild dogs. So let’s cross our fingers, people.
Wilmer Valderrama gets work in Hollywood and fucks celebrities.
Proof that sorcery and black magic exist? Yup.
Don’t over look the annoyance of Topher Grace. Nice first name, asshole.
My old roommate’s dog was so badass that it got kicked out of Cesar Millan’s dog camp. True story.
ABC has already asked if they can preempt the next episode of ‘Hank’ for this.
It’s pretty impressive when a guy can be named “Wilmer” and still have only the third stupidest name of his coworkers.
Turns out this will be paired with Brothers as part of Fox’s Go Fuck Yourself Fridays.
Wanna hate him a little more? Check out Handy Manny. I didn’t think you could negatively impact the stereotypes of Mexicans. I was wrong.
How is the show going to work?
Will it be like House where a grumpy Wilmer ponders how to help a troublesome poodle, writes on a white board, has an addiction to doggy treats, and only solves the problem in the last two minutes after having a conversation with his best friend?
On a more positive note, he did bang an underage Lindsay Lohan. Wait, so did half of Hollywood. Nevermind.
Dammit, Kapnek! You had the chance to make Fez play the role of “Grizzly Man”, and you chose “Dog Whisperer” instead? Thanks for nothing.
I remember he was on Stern and he said that he has a 10 inch penis.
Makes money by being bad at things and has a huge wang.
I wish my life could be summed up like that.
I have to agree, Wilmer Valderrama is TERRIBLE! How can he possibly get work as an “actor” with all the talented people out there. Any of you have kids? Ever heard him on “Handy Manny”? He can’t even READ! It is embarassing. It sounds like someone learning English for the first time trying to read words off a page.