Do you remember driver’s ed in high school? Driving around in your neighborhood with a bunch of other students (and your teacher) during school hours? Nothing was more nerve-wracking than trying to drive on a busy road for the first time in front of your classmates.
One of the most memorable moments from driver’s ed was the horrific safety video entitled “Red Asphalt”. If you always wondered what that would look like in real life, now’s your chance…sort of. Instead of blood, the asphalt in question ran red with millions of red Skittles candies.
Yes, Marshawn “Beast Mode” Lynch’s favorite candy made an unexpected trip down a Wisconsin highway a few days ago. Skittles, the bite-sized candy that comes from a rainbow, fell off a flatbed pickup truck that was traveling down County Highway South in Dodge County, Wisconsin. The image would be a lot less jarring if the skittles came in a range of colors, but it was only red Skittles that tumbled out, resembling the blood-soaked tide from The Shining.
Where did the Skittles comes from? They were in a cardboard box being transported to a local farm to be used as feed for cattle. Apparently, it started raining, the box got wet, and the Skittles fell out like a crimson waterfall. Wait, hold up. The Skittles were being sent to a farm to feed cattle?
“It is reported that the Skittles were intended to be feed for cattle as they did not make the cut for packaging at the company,” reads a post on the Dodge County Sheriff’s Department’s Facebook page. So, they weren’t good enough for humans, but they were good enough for cows?
Why anyone would think that Skittles have the proper amount of nutrition to feed cattle is slightly alarming. What other candy do they feed to cows? Starburst? Sugar Daddies? How about Cow Tales? I never knew all of our favorite candy was so good for us. Maybe Elf had the right idea with his chocolate pasta.
“It is unclear who may have spilled the skittles on the road,” the post reads. “While we don’t know who did this, it is certainly clear that it may be difficult to ‘Taste the Rainbow’ in it’s entirety with one color that likely fell off the truck!” If there’s one lesson to be learned from this ordeal it’s that cows love candy and somebody doesn’t want them to have any. Maybe next time, cows.
