Congratulations, people of America: The holidays are upon us! That means that Oprah, the sainted mother of all things you-probably-shouldn’t-buy-but-totally-will-anyway, has graced us with her annual List of Favorite Things. Rejoice! Sorry, Neiman Marcus, your $66 collard greens are about to be nothing but a timeworn memory.
While a colony of angry bees trapped in an oversized gift box is, sadly, not on this year’s list, Oprah did gather together an impressive compendium of over 100 things that will make your life better, empty your pockets, and line her coffers with all that sweet, sweet affiliate money (this is a woman who made $12.5 million just by tweeting about bread, after all).
Oprah would probably never use any of these things in her personal life but nonetheless some of them are so ridiculous that we find ourselves hungering for them. One member of our staff — to remain nameless, not the person writing this post, please stop looking at me like that — bought two items off the list last year, and this year…well, check out the things you probably don’t need but will probably end up purchasing: