Senior Editor
09.02.09 37 Comments

Apparently Marvel and Paramount are considering converting Iron Man 2 to 3D at the last minute and are currently testing a converted one-minute clip of Mickey Rourke.  The following rumor comes from Harry at AICN, so you’ll have to excuse the childlike writing and excessive exclamation points.  (!!!!)

One birdy tweeted a secret tweet that put me on the scent [a secret tweet?  how is the sound a whistle makes a secret?  and how do you find the scent of a sound?  does that require synesthesia?  oh nevermind. -Ed] – and then I found other birdies to sing the same tune. So I can state that the following is absolutely true, though the final results have yet to be heard.
Right now, there is a 1 minute demo of IRON MAN 2 converted to high quality digital 3D. I’m told this one minute is totally like Kim Basinger & Mickey Rourke in 9 1/2 WEEKS. HOT! Crazy Hot! [they eat food in the sex scenes! that’s why it gets me so horny!!!] Right now the Suits at Marvel & Paramount & now also Disney are considering this 1 minute.
At the same time that this is happening, they are fishing for bids with 3 different companies to see what the cost and time it would take to convert IRON MAN 2 to a complete 3D film. This same process is being done to Tim Burton’s ALICE IN WONDERLAND.

As you can read just about anywhere, there are some serious problems with converting live-action 2D to 3D after the fact.  James Cameron bashed the process specifically in reference to Alice in Wonderland back in December. Meanwhile /Film offers their own detailed, technojargony explanation for why 3D conversion is teh gay.

Technology aside, I don’t like 3D because A. it ain’t any more realistic, and B. it hijacks your pupil and keeps you from being able to scan different parts of the frame as you would a painting or photograph.  But just ask yourself this, how many times have you ever watched something and thought, “This would be better if only it was more like Captain EO.”   In fact, there’s only one person I can imagine being happy about this.

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