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I didn’t think it was going to get much better than Joaquin Phoenix buying a velvet cape and rapping in a dressing room, but since I first reported Casey Affleck shopping around his documentary last week, some additional details have emerged. All I can say is, “Holy crap.” And I do mean that semi-literally, because human feces appears to be involved. Pop a squat on my chest, LA Times:
While some were apparently interested in bidding for “I’m Still Here: The Lost Year of Joaquin Phoenix‘s” distribution rights, the shoppers left the screening perhaps even more mystified by Phoenix’s behavior than when they walked in.
It’s far from the Joaquin Phoenix you’re used to seeing onscreen: snorting cocaine, ordering call girls, having oral sex with a publicist, treating his assistants abusively and rapping badly.
Several buyers said the film overflowed with Hollywood debauchery, including more male frontal nudity than you’d find in some gay porn films and a stomach-turning sequence in which someone feuding with Phoenix defecates on the actor while he’s asleep.
Wow. I’m not thrilled about the pretentious is-it-real-or-is-it-not open narrative (it can be done, but a lot of the time it just feels like a lazy director couldn’t choose a take on the material, a la JCVD), but also keep in mind that this confusion is being expressed by Hollywood people, who couldn’t recognize brilliance if it crapped on their chest while they were sleeping. Am I saying I think this is going to be good? No. I don’t know. But I think a Cleveland Steamer scene, oral sex, and cocaine will sure help the medicine go down. I guess I’m just old fashioned like that.
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Sounds like the only way Joaquin could get any weirder is if there is a scene where he angry dragons his brother’s corpse…
If that’s too graphic they could swap out the poop with a DVD of Clay Pigeons.
This is the same dumb shit as every Borat fan who bought a green monokini and talked like a dipshit in a bad accent except replace Borat with Zach Galifianakis.
If this movie ends up being a hit, Sacha Baron Cohen is gonna have a few ribs removed so he can go around the country as an Irish pedo-priest who wants to “learn to fight the urges” by interviewing average Americans and by inexplicably sucking his own cock.
having oral sex with a publicist
Isn’t it a publicist’s job to fellate the talent?
If shitting on Joaquin Pheonix is cool, then Letterman is Miles Davis.
“The feel good hit of the summer!” – Pete Hammond.
This sounds heartwarming, or chestwarming at the least.
I’d be mad if someone shit on me while I slept. I’d want to be awake for that.
“The feel good Shit of the summer!” – Pete Hammond.
I prefer the Lethal Weapon. It´s when you ask someone to shit in your face and ask him/her to call you Danny Glover.
snorting cocaine, ordering call girls, having oral sex with a publicist, treating his assistants abusively and rapping badly
Seriously, we’re supposed to be surprised about a major Hollywood actor doing all of this? The “rapping badly” part is the most surprising (as in not at all)
I guess what I’m saying is give me a Crispin Glover documentary and then we can talk
I thought Human Centipede had the market covered in covering people in shit. But apparently Phoenix is making a play for that pile.
Glenn, Glover has a movie he made that he shows at conventions. Apparently its over 2 hours long and people are completely mind raped by it and the boredom it induces. So don’t get your hopes up.
New up.