Senior Editor
07.28.09 17 Comments

Empire recently posted some new publicity shots from Jerry Bruckheimer’s Prince of Persia movie, starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, and Ben Kingsley.  I never played the video game, but based on these pictures I assume the object was to try to cultivate flowing sex hair (except for poor Special K who has to compensate with eyeliner).  Heck, I’d even bang the horse.  This looks like it’s going to be for Jake Gyllenhaal what Troy was for Brad Pitt, and everyone’s talking about how buff he got for the role.  But whatever, put this pussy in the ring with me.  I promise I’ll submit him in 30 seconds. With a c*ck choke!  OOH WHA-AA AA-AAH!

Hey– who let Jerry O’Bruckheimer into the girl’s locker room?  He looks like the emo-est leprechaun.  So they think they kin take me lucky charms, do they?  We’ll see who has the last laugh once me orthopedic shoes correct me club foot. Until then, I’ll smoke me cloves ‘n take meaninful photographs.

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