Bartenders Tell Us The Worst Valentine’s Dates They’ve Ever Seen

02.14.18 1 year ago


For some people, Valentine’s Day is filled with heart-shaped candies, stuffed cupid dolls, chocolate, flowers, and an overload of romantic gestures. For others, it’s one of the most dreaded days of the year. While they sit front row for all the stomach-churning PDA, they’re forced to stare down another year of single existence. It can be… aggravating.

There’s a third group in this mix. Those bold souls who embrace their single-ness and celebrate the chance to meet people. That’s who we’re interested in today. The optimistic few who believe that February 14th is the perfect night for a first date. Because that’s a huge risk and deserves a shout out.

Alas — if you’re a member of this bold crew — be aware that bartenders don’t miss anything. They’ve seen your disastrous Valentine’s Day first dates and they told us all about them. Sorry in advance.

The Polyamorous party


Kim Spence, national beverage director at Moxie’s Grill & Bar

“I had a polyamorous table in the restaurant one year, but I think you normally tell the other people involved that it’s polyamorous… needless to say, it ended poorly. Hilarious, but poorly.”

Champagne bath


Brock Schulte, Beverage Director for The Monarch in Kansas City

“I think the worst date I’ve ever seen ended in the woman throwing her glass of champagne in the man’s face after the truth came out about a situation he must have lied about previously. He definitely didn’t see it coming… I should note sparkling wine really stings in your eyes.”

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