President Teddy Roosevelt (Ron Swanson before Ron Swanson) was America’s greatest champion of the U.S. National Park Service. While in office, he oversaw the creation of 18 national monuments, four game refuges, more than 100 million acres of national forests, more than 50 bird sanctuaries, and five of the greatest national parks in history. Not even the Lorax has done that much for the trees.
If there’s anything that Roosevelt believed as much as the pristine glory of nature, it was beer — despite the fact that he never ever drank it (when a small newspaper made the claim that Roosevelt was a drunk, our 26th president successfully sued the paper for libel). Still, ole’ teetotaling Teddy was famous for buying beer by the gallon for the Rough Riders he trained in Texas. Why? Because beer is the greatest morale booster that the world has ever seen, which Roosevelt understood, just as much as he understood that our natural resources deserve to be protected.
That’s why, as we near the 100th anniversary of the National Park System, we should toast Teddy by enjoying a frosty brew in one of our country’s open spaces. There’s nothing more patriotic, nothing more Earth-friendly, nothing more us than sucking down a cold one in a national forest. God. Bless. America.