Life

We Designed A Massive Breakfast Burrito To Wreck Your Next Hangover

The quest for the perfect hangover cure is unending. Everybody seems to have a trick, a preferred elixir, or a go-to meal. There are even shreds of science to support eating tomatoes, cheese, bacon, etc., and drinking… well, mostly water. You should definitely drink water.

For us, a massive, overstuffed breakfast burrito always feels like the way to go when you’re feeling wrecked. You get that hit of bacon, cheese, and tomato that science seems to get behind while also adding in eggs, fried potatoes, some beans, avocado, more cheese, and a nice dose of chili. It’s that balance of (perceived) alcohol absorption, big flavors, fat, and spice — the sort of meal that could raise the dead and then put them back down for a cozy nap.

So, that’s what we’re making today: a breakfast burrito bomb/hangover cure. Call it what you want but know it’s loaded with everything you need to get your body and mind up and running again after a wild night. Let’s get into it.

Hangover Breakfast Burrito Bomb

Zach Johnston

Ingredients:

  • Bacon wedge
  • Leftover small baked potato
  • 1/4 cup pinto beans
  • 1/2 avocado
  • 1/2 tomato
  • 1/2 small yellow onion
  • 1 habanero
  • Pickled jalapeno
  • Fresh cilantro
  • 1/8 cup cheddar cheese
  • 1 slices Edam cheese
  • 2 slice American cheese
  • 2 eggs, scrambled
  • Chiptole sauce
  • Miscellaneous leftover protein (I’m using tri-tip). Cold chicken from one of those roasted chickens you can buy at every grocer would also work. Polish sausage. A few pieces of crumbled burger from your late-night In-N-Out run, etc.
  • Oregano
  • Paprika
  • Salt
  • Black pepper
  • Large flour tortilla
  • 1 tbsp. unsalted butter
  • Neutral oil

Much of this recipe relies on leftovers. You don’t want to be prepping pinto beans or braising beef hungover. I’m using leftover beans (canned), a leftover baked potato, leftover bacon from a slab I got last week, and a leftover chunk of tri-tip I roasted the other day. At the end of the day, this is a hangover cure, not a Bearn-nominated degustation menu.

What do you have in your fridge that you can use? Leftover guac? Use that. I don’t think you need to make fresh guacamole when you’re hungover. For mine, I’m just dicing the tomato, onion, and avocado and using it as a garnish.

Try to avoid a hungover grocery run. Canned tomatoes can get you to the finish line in a pinch. In fact, almost every ingredient can be swapped out, except…

The cheese. You need cheese. It’s the real star of the show. I’m using three that I have in my fridge. The Edam and American cheeses are there for gooey-ness while the cheddar is vital for sharpness. If you don’t have a fridge with three kinds of cheese in it, Velveeta and Jack can work. You can even use that powdery, weird pre-grated mozzarella if you must, you heathen.

In the end, this is a bit of “the kitchen sink” burrito that you can put pretty much whatever you want into. This recipe is less a tutorial and more a framework for whatever you find in the house the next time you wake up with your head throbbing.

Zach Johnston

What You’ll Need:

  • Large heavy-bottomed pot (for frying)
  • Small non-stick pan
  • Cast iron skillet
  • Kitchen knife
  • Cutting board
  • Box grater
  • Spatula
  • Plates or bowls
  • Paper towels
Zach Johnston

Method (Prep):

  • Heat some oil in a large pot to around 375F.
  • Peel and roughly dice the cold baked potato.
  • Add the potato to the hot oil and fry until golden brown (about eight to ten minutes). Remove to a bowl with a paper towel and season with oregano, paprika, salt, and pepper. Set aside.
  • In the meantime, finely dice the onion and tomato. Shred the cheddar. Thinly slice the habanero (remove seeds for less heat). Cube the avocado.
  • In a skillet, add a handful of the cubed bacon and turn on the heat to medium-high. Fry until crispy. Place on a waiting plate with paper towels.
  • In the non-stick pan, melt the butter then scramble the two eggs in the pan and fold until just cooked. Set aside on a plate.
  • In the skillet, warm up the pinto beans and any leftover protein you might have (again, I used leftover tri-tip), and place the flour tortilla over the skillet to both warm it and create a lid.

If you’re really struggling, skip frying the potatoes and just warm up the potato cubes with the beans and meat. The potatoes will be a little listless and mushy that way, but will still work as a starchy component. When they fry, they take on a new life with the oil and seasoning. It just depends on how bad of shape you’re in.

Zach Johnston

Method (Assembly):

  • Place the warmed tortilla on a waiting cutting board or large plate.
  • Add the American and Edam cheese.
  • Add the beans, meat, fried potatoes, eggs, and bacon.
  • Top with shredded cheese.
  • Top that with small handfuls of avocado, tomatoes, onion, chilis, cilantro, and dose in Chipotle sauce.
  • Roll the burrito by folding over the bottom lip and folding the edges inward, then rolling away from you, making sure it’s tightly wound.
  • In the non-stick pan (on medium heat), add a drop of oil and gently place the burrito fold side down to toast. Place the skillet on top of the burrito to apply pressure (don’t press down). Once the bottom is golden brown, flip and toast the top, making sure to put the skillet on the burrito again.
  • Once toasted, wrap the burrito in foil and let rest for a few minutes.
  • Cut the burrito in half and tuck in.

Quick note: I rolled my burrito a little tight and got a small crack. A little cheese melted out as it toasted but it wasn’t a big deal at the end of the day. So, don’t worry if a small crack forms when you roll this over-stuffed burrito up. It’ll be okay and unnoticeable once you wrap the burrito in foil.

Zach Johnston

Bottom Line:

Zach Johnston

This delivered. The cheese was layered from gooey to sharp. The meat, beans, bacon, and eggs all provided a nice “breakfast scramble” vibe while the tomato, avocado, onion, and cilantro brightened things up immensely.

The real star of the show was the fresh habanero and pickled jalapeno. The two added a nice crunch, with the habanero adding serious heat (I didn’t remove the seeds) and the jalapeno bringing that pickled tang.

The fried and seasoned potatoes really did add a nice touch with a slight crunch, savory flavor, and a bit of starch in the middle of a lot of protein.

From start to finish, this took about 15 minutes. You can cut everything up while the potatoes start frying. The bacon, eggs, meat, and beans only take a few minutes or two to cook/warm through. And, lastly, it only takes about two minutes to toast off the burrito.

The best part is that you’ll probably need a nap after this gut bomb of a burrito — which is actually the best hangover cure of them all.

Zach Johnston
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