Three Food Writers Battle To See Who Can Make The Best Fried Noodles

iStockphoto

We’re back! The internet’s most beloved series focused on “people arguing vehemently over food that they’ll never actually get to try” has returned from summer break! All your old friends are here: Steve “The Overwrought Tryhard” Bramucci, Vince “Bland Color Palette” Mancini, and Zach “Let’s Get Didactic” Johnston. It’s like a heist squad, except we’re stealing your time from your employer.

This month, we’re all about the noods. Fried noodles, that is, which is code for “we didn’t want anyone cooking Italian but didn’t want to call it ‘Asian Noodles’ because then you’re holding us to a certain level of authenticity and not even Zach has taken the time to study 3,000 years of Asian culinary tradition in full, so we’ll just stick to ‘fried,’ okay?” The results vary widely with everyone playing to their own distinct strengths (and unable to hide their glaring weaknesses). We also all seem deeply desirous of scoring a win — whether it’s because it would solidify our bond with a Top Chef star (Vince), confirm that we can use the sous vide on literally any foodstuff on earth (Zach), or keep us from falling so far behind that we abuse our editorial power to cancel the series completely (Steve).

Check what we made and get commenting. Because if anything can ease the pain of summer ending, it’s the chance to call someone you’ve never met a dickhead for how they cooked some noodles you’ll never taste.

— Steve Bramucci, Managing Editor, Uproxx Life

PAST RESULTS:

BLT Showdown — 1) Vince 2) Zach 3) Steve
Mac & Cheese Showdown — 1) Vince 2) (tie) Zach, Steve
Taco Showdown — 1) Steve 2) Zach 3) Vince
Winter Stew Showdown — 1) Zach 2) Steve 3) Vince
Date Night Showdown — 1) Zach 2) Vince 3) Steve
Pasta Showdown — 1) Steve 2) Zach 3) Vince
Hot Beef Showdown — 1) Zach 2) Vince 3) Steve
Shellfish Showdown — 1) Vince 2) Zach 3) Steve
BBQ Showdown — 1) Steve 2) Zach 3) Vince
Pumpkin Spice Showdown — 1) (tie) Vince, Zach 2) Steve
Thanksgiving Side Dish Showdown — 1) Vince 2) Steve 3) Zach
Christmas Dessert Showdown — 1) Steve 2) Vince 3) Zach
Chili Cook-off Showdown — 1) Zach 2) Steve 3) Vince
Nacho Showdown — 1) Vince 2) Steve 3) Zach
Burger Showdown — 1) Zach 2) Vince 3) Steve
Breakfast Burrito Showdown — 1) Vince 2) Zach 3) Steve

CURRENT SCORE:

We’re giving three points to the winner and one to second place for each round. As it stands, the score is:

ZACH: 25
VINCE: 25
STEVE: 18

Around The Web