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Dave Holmes’ Response To Terrible Phone Scammers Is The Epic Troll You Need To Start Using Yourself

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Imagine you’re sitting in your car, at home, or enjoying an overpriced beverage of your choice in one of the many artisanal stores that have recently popped up in your area. Now imagine that your phone rings and a stern voice on the other end begins the conversation by letting you know you’ve messed up your taxes, the IRS is angry, and you’re about to go to jail. Like right now. The police are basically on their way.

You’d be lying if you said a cold stab of dread didn’t shoot right through your entire being before you realized what was going on was a scam meant to separate you from your money. You likely even hung up after that (I know I do, and sometimes it’s the real IRS calling!), but as Bro Bible reports, TV host and comic Dave Holmes couldn’t just take this abuse lying down. Instead, he pretended to go along with the scammers, wasting their time in the most hilarious and cringe-inducing way possible. Sure, they were probably pretty happy when Holmes freaked out (he does improv, that’s what he’s good at), but what followed was a masterclass in what happens when you f*ck with the wrong person.

Check out Holmes’ live tweet of the entire situation, which is currently going viral:

So far, these guys are doing a pretty awful job at scamming, but check out what happens when Holmes decides to get back at them like it’s his entire job:

But wait…there was something Holmes could do to avoid an immediate arrest:

Uh, DANG. These are some very rude scammers. Of course, at this point Holmes knew he had to go to the bank. He went through all the motions, even pretending to believe the scammers when they told him he couldn’t tell anyone at the bank about what was going on because it was a “federal case,” which makes, as you may imagine, very little sense. It’s almost like the scammers had seen Eagle Eye and were just basing their entire operation on the way the government terrorized Shia LaBoeuf in that film. But besides wasting their time (and imagining the epic dance party the entire office must have been having at the thought of suckering such a sucker), Holmes also broke their evil little hearts when he got back from his “errand” with a “bag full of money” he had to submit to an account that did not list the IRS as its holder. That’s because he wanted to read everyone anxiously looking forward to his money what had been written on his receipt:

This would be where Holmes would drop the mic (if he had one–and he might, being an improv person), but since we don’t have proof he carries one on his person, let’s just imagine him slamming the car door really hard and doing a touchdown dance. Because his troll was epic.

We’d never suggest you call and pester the good people who are striking fear into the hearts of good men, but maybe next time someone like this calls you, you’ll have some ammunition for them. If nothing else, you can just link yourself back to this post and follow his words step for step. Celebrate with a chalupa later. You deserve it. We know Dave Holmes does.

You can read the rest of his story (with “bonus material”) over on Esquire.

(Via Bro Bible)

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