Okay. News flash. Like it or not, it’s the time of year that people start expecting gifts from you when they show up at your house—even your sister’s impossible-to-please hipster boyfriend, who always seems to be “meh” about whatever you give him.
Fret no more, web-savvy friends — we’ve put together just the list for you. Each item can be found on Etsy, which means each is a) unique, b) generally not mass-produced, c) whimsical, and d) handmade/artisanal. Also, you don’t have to drive to the store.
The fixed-gear/hand crocheted/hand sanded offerings on Etsy are bound to bring peace, joy, and goodwill to your holiday celebrations. Before you know it, you’ll be sipping a cold PBR and talking 8-tracks with the bro-friend, wondering why you wanted him to accept you in the first place.
So…you’re welcome?
Where’s Waldo Hat, $21
Paired with some round plastic specs (or cat-eye, for the Wenda aspirant), this understated gift will make your favorite hipster friend’s head happy and warm.
VHS Cassette Tape Diagram Wall Poster, from $7.71
Perfect for the lady still in mourning for the much simpler days of “Be Kind, Rewind.” The shop also sells tons of other awesome diagram posters, from a tattoo pen to an Eames chair. (And if you don’t know what that is, don’t worry. Your hipster friend will.)
Heisenberg/Walter White Stud Earrings, $9
A classy way for your bud to display her Breaking Bad allegiance…right on her ears! (Or his, we’re not discounting the dudes with double piercings.) Check out this shop’s other earrings, including A Christmas Story‘s Ralphie in his bunny suit. Something for everybody here.
“I Love You…I Know” Star Wars Pillow Covers, $31.95 for both
Switching pop culture references, these pillows are a great couples gift for your friends who bought their tickets to Star Wars: Episode VII the day they started selling online. The ones who deny that the prequels even exist.
Bacon Bourbon Handcrafted Gourmet Marshmallows, from $5.99
FACT: Hipsters love bacon.
DOUBLE FACT: They love bourbon even more.
TRIPLE FACT: And they f*cking adore anything handcrafted/gourmet, especially if that handcrafted/gourmet item is a marshmallow. Or a pack of six, for that matter.
Crocheted Hat with Attached Beard and Man Bun, $40
Via https://www.etsy.com/listing/250709850/crochet-hat-with-beard-man-bun-hat-the?ref=related-0 .com
For the man who is secretly balding and just can’t seem to pull off the authentic man bun look. Or for the person who needs to assert his allegiance with maker-culture even when it’s super cold.
Fixie Temporary Tattoos, $2.46 for a twin pack
We all have that friend who’s obsessed with his fixed-gear bike, aka “fixie.” These little tattoos are a great option if he’s been toying with the idea of ink, but just can’t seem to commit.
PBR Beer Bottle Cap Cufflinks, $25
Made of authentic PBR bottle caps! Other options are available, of course–including New Belgium, Blue Moon, and Newcastle. And Diet Coke! Okay, fine — these are actually pretty cool.
Wooden Bowtie, $35
A sustainable option that looks sharp paired with a crisp button-down, for ladies or for lads. Plus, your friend will never have to worry about figuring out how to actually tie a bowtie again.
Handpainted Saved By the Bell Nail Decals, $9
What better way to demonstrate your undying love for the Bayside High gang than to display them all on your fingernails? Your Jessie Spano-quoting friend will be so excited about these. And check out the other options for everyone else in your squad, from the boy band devotee to the Fresh Prince fangirl.
Harry Potter Cookie Cutters, from $5
Everyone loves cookies. Everyone also loves Harry Potter. Harry Potter cookie cutters? You’ll be the most popular kid on the block. That is, until the friend you gift these to starts actually making cookies with them. Then they’ll be waaaaay more popular than you.
Baes of Science Buttons, 3 for $6
Sagan, DeGrasse Tyson, Hawking. At just $2/each, these buttons will look great on the lapel of your friend who is obsessed with telling everyone how right the science in Interstellar was. (“At least, until they got to the blackhole.”)
Put a Bird On It Framed Cross Stitch, $60
For the most self-aware Portlandia fan comes this little gem of a sampler. Check out the shop’s other great offerings, like the Doge Much Sampler and the all-important question, “Is butter a carb?” eternalized via embroidery floss.
Doge Much Wallet So Wow, $9
Speaking of Doge, don’t forget to put this super spiffy clutch in your shopping cart.
Tobias Fünke Handmade Rubber Stamp, $40
The only apparent purpose of this stamp is to be able to press it into blue ink and say, “I just blue myself.” Which your friend will totally get a kick out of and is, all things considered, probably worth it.
Drake Celebrity Prayer Candle, $15
For your sorta-Catholic, very-pop-culture friend comes this beautiful “Hotline Bling” prayer candle. Other options from the seller include side-eyeing Chloe, as well as both halves of the Kimye equation. No word on whether they’ll be making a Saint West candle.
Don’t let me be the one to limit you here. Seriously. Etsy has so much fun stuff for whatever pop culture meme your friends are obsessed with. Plus it’s hilarious to look at all the weird sh*t.
