In the 1990s, my family’s Thanksgiving meal was broadcast to every person watching the ABC affiliate in Fresno, CA. In the Central Valley a mere 20 years ago, the idea of a vegetarian holiday meal was so novel that it had to be documented in the wild. There was a news van taking up most of the driveway and a cameraman stationed next to the small table I shared with my mother and father. I’ve tried my hardest to block the entire experience out of my mind, because I was young and having your family trotted out to entertain the townies with their oddities was a little more than my burgeoning self-image could cope with. But, I remember some sort of lentil dish and a chocolate pumpkin cheesecake (this is a small window into my priorities and associated weight problem).
Now, I live in Portland, OR and I think every holiday meal is legally obligated to include four vegan dishes, one kale side, and at least ¼ cup of coconut oil. But, there are still a lot of places where the idea of a meatless holiday meal is baffling. It might even warrant news coverage. There isn’t any need to worry. Accommodating a vegan isn’t a punishing endeavor. The following tips should help you stop surreptitiously hitting the cooking sherry while you slog away in the kitchen and, instead, contribute to a meal everyone will enjoy.
Don’t Feel Obligated To Buy Faux Meat
For a lot of omnivores, the main course of a holiday meal is a meat. I am pretty sure it is usually ham or turkey, but since I have never eaten either, don’t hold me to that. You will feel like a meal isn’t complete without this substantial protein and you will think your need to replace that with something vegan. You don’t. I promise. It isn’t necessary.
This misguided urge will drive you to get a Tofurky and no one else will eat it and the vegan will feel obligated to choke down salty, flavorless wheat meat. No one will feel totally satisfied and you will be out a lot of money. Instead, try a pasta, a risotto, stuffed squash, or a pot pie. There are plenty of main dishes (even ones you eat on the regular) that are more satisfying, nutritious, and rational than a pretend turkey. Side note: This is also not a time to think that molding tofu into some sort of meaty shape is acceptable. Put down the lobster gelatin mold.
Check out Jamie Oliver’s Vegan Shepherd’s Pie. Be prepared to do come conversions because Americans hate the much simpler metric system.
Be Comfortable With The Food You Prepare
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There are a ton of really delicious vegan holiday recipes, but you shouldn’t prepare any of the ones that make you feel panicked. You know how people say their secret ingredient is love? Don’t make yours white knuckled terror or grumbling irritation. Maybe the instructions are too advanced for you. Maybe the ingredients are too exotic. Maybe you don’t own a tart pan. Maybe you just hate the recipe because it involves beets (they suck, don’t @ me). There are plenty of recipes that will match your skill set, your level of foodie-ism, and your tools. Just do a little research. If you are taking charge of making a huge family meal, I am going to make a logical leap and assume combing through recipes (even ones without animal bits in them) is something you can get down with.
This is also a time when a little planning can save you some work and make you more relaxed. If you are making mashed potatoes, put some of the boiled potatoes to the side and mix them with almond milk and some “buttery spread” of some sort or vegan sour cream. Tada. Vegan mashed potatoes. If you are sautéing brussels sprouts in bacon fact, sauté some of them in olive oil instead. Instant vegan-friendly sprouts. This is possibly the easiest way to include vegans and spare yourself extra shopping and recipe research. Be careful that you actually make things completely vegan though. I once ordered soup that the waiter told me was vegan only to find chicken in it. “They only put one chicken in the pot for flavor.” Oh, well luckily my veganism doesn’t include flavoring animals. Ixnay on the sneaky animal inclusions and stay clear of anything with gelatin (Vegans aren’t big on chowing down on connective tissue.)
As controversial as PETA is, they do a great job of crafting simple recipes that taste good. Try this Vegetarian Pate en Croute (it’s actually vegan if you use dairy free margarine).
Communicate
You should be conversing with the vegans about their preferences. That doesn’t mean you have to go full Monica and make each item five different ways to please everyone. What you are trying to do is limit your workload through smart planning. There are many reasons people become vegan. They aren’t all worshipping at the altar of PETA. I knew vegans who ran excursions to help people bow hunt elk. They were vegan for environmental reasons. Those people have a different set of food priorities in some cases than humane vegans or health vegans or disguised eating disorder vegans.
Learning a little bit more about a vegan guest and their food preferences can help you adjust your existing menu or add to it. For example, I think the absence of meat necessitates the inclusion of some umami flavors, like mushrooms and miso and fermented foods and nutritional yeast. If your guest hates some of these foods, that won’t fly. Try running some of your ideas by them and see what response you get. They may even counter with a better idea and send you the recipe or offer to bring the dish themselves, which brings me to my next tip.
Looking to include some deep, savory flavors, make Guardian’s Roast Vegetable and Winter Herb Gravy to liberally pour over everything. More metric conversions.
Let People Bring Things
There is an implied obligation to prepare everything when you host the holidays. Maybe you let someone bring a dessert or wine, but unless it’s a potluck, you are going to be trapped in the kitchen sweating and simmering like a Hell’s Kitchen contestant for days. It’s this attitude that leads to resentment of the vegan guests because those bastards are adding to an already monumental task with their special needs. And if you have a paleo or gluten free guest as well, you are probably considering jumping out a window and hoofing it toward the sunset.
This is the time when you use your communication with your guests to welcome any additions to the meal that they are willing to bring. This will prevent you working incredibly hard on a portabella wellington when you could be doing whatever it is people do with a turkey (protect it from the Bumpuses’ dogs?).
If you are still only going to let someone bring dessert, hope that it is this Vegan Apple Spice Cake with Maple Buttercream.
Don’t Eat All Of The Vegan Food
You probably don’t think that you will have any interest in the vegan food (and if it’s a Tofurky you have a point). But, here’s the thing: vegans are dedicated to getting the best flavor out of their food that they can. Sure, they do it without meat or dairy, but there are a ton of other things that taste good and they use them all. How many times have you mowed through chips and salsa? Popped Pringles and not been able to stop? Enjoyed sorbet? Spaghetti aglio e olio? Thai curries? Vegetable soup? There are a ton of foods that can be prepared vegan (or are naturally vegan) without sapping you of your desire to eat them.
Don’t expect an anemic salad or limp broccoli cooked in the microwave (my grandma’s vegetarian meal staple). It’s not about existing solely at the base of the food pyramid. Vegans get down with fats and starches and proteins too. So much so that guests tend to be just as willing to eat a good animal-free dish as they are any other. But, vegans can’t eat everything on the table, so don’t bogart their repast.
You can depend upon former Top Chef All-Stars winner and culinary star Richard Blais to create a yum recipe that everyone will want to snap up. Carrot Osso Buco has a meaty, rich flavor and will be mega yum served atop vegan mashed spuds.
Don’t Make Fun Of Them Or Their Food
You know the old jokes. How do you know if someone is a vegan? Don’t worry; they’ll tell you. How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to get on their high horse and another to chastise them for oppressing the horse.
There is a variety of vegan that is proselytizing. These are the people who will bleat when you eat lamb. You would not invite these people to your home any more than you would invite one of the protestors at a clinic to come inside and hold your hand through your abortion. If you invite people into your home, you expect them to treat you with respect and you should return the favor. You might want to mock them and their diet, but they are already in the minority. Don’t shame them for being different. It isn’t worth it and it’s a bit of a stain on your tenure as host. “Welcome to my home … you freak.” No one will bring enough wine to the meal to make that tolerable.
Cauliflower is my favorite and I think it has stolen the thunder of kale and brussels sprouts. That said, I would happily eat a ton of Jerk-Spiced Brussels Sprouts, Cauliflower, and Chickpeas.
More photos below. It’s no so impossible, is it?
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