Life

A Sex Therapist Explains Your Most Common Sexual Issues (And What To Do About Them)


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Everyone’s talking about dicks these days. If it’s not Donald Trump reminding America what big hands he has, it’s dudes getting their balls pumped full of botox, this guy making headlines for his two-week-long erection, and every one of your friends — those mature and responsible adults — making bad puns about 2017 being The Year Of The Cock.

It’s enough to make you never want to talk about male genitalia again. Except we’re going to. Because now seems like the perfect time to enter the national discussion of dicks in a different way. No drama, no sensationalism, just some hard truths. Let’s start with this one: Everyone has penis problems. Yep, everyone. Everyone worries about penis size, the turgidity of their erections, and when it’s too soon, too late, or just right to come.

The good news? It’s normal. All of it.

The better news? We enlisted the help of Vanessa Marin — a licensed sex therapist who’s helped countless men with their penis woes — to drop some hard truths about the most common complaints guys have, the mental toll these problems take, and what you can do to change how you think about them.

Because, here’s a spoiler: It’s probably not your penis that’s the problem. It’s your dumb old brain.

Premature Ejaculation

You already know what this is, probably because you’ve experienced it at least once. You know what, though? That’s totally okay, because Marin says that premature ejaculation is absolutely normal once in a while. In fact, the only thing that makes it abnormal is the fact that most dudes don’t think it’ll ever effect them.

“I think a really important thing to know is that premature ejaculation is something that’s going to happen to every man out there multiple times in his life on a somewhat consistent basis,” Marin says. She knows that it often feels like you’re the only one — and it doesn’t help to tell you that’s not true — but while many men see premature ejaculation as an “all or nothing” problem, the reality is that most men will suffer from this minor malady at least several times throughout their lifespan.

You breathing a sigh of relief? It’d be great if you were, because according to Marin, the reason that premature ejaculation happens (most of the time) is due to anxiety — both anxiety before the premature ejaculation occurs as well as anxiety that comes on after the episode, when you’re at your most vulnerable and trying to explain that “this has never happened before.”

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