11.16.09 8 years ago 5 Comments

Pro golfer and former jailbait Michelle Wie finally won her first LPGA event yesterday. Wie finished at 13 under par in the Lorena Ochoa Invitational in Guadalajara, Mexico yesterday. Wow, what a relief. Now she can follow through with her continuing threats to jump to NASCAR. Wait a second; I’m thinking of somebody else.

She held firm [on Sunday’s back nine] with five straight pars, however, before sealing the victory in style on the last, a 30-yard bunker shot landing a foot from the hole for a tap-in birdie.

“I was just focusing on just not hitting anyone in the crowd,” said Wie when asked about the winning shot. –The Telegraph (UK)

That must be why I’m so terrible in golf–I never have any crowd to avoid. Golf really is a pointless game. It’s like NASCAR, but totally different. Instead of driving in a smaller circle 200 times, you just do one big lap in golf. It’s like Lord of the Rings but without all the boring nerdy stuff. Plus, in golf, you can pee in the woods. How do you put a price on that?

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