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Marshawn Lynch Shares His Secrets To Receiving Oral Sex While Driving Outrageously Expensive Cars

Marshawn Lynch made a name for himself by being an incredibly entertaining player to watch on the football field. But now that the former Seahawks running back has retired from the NFL, he’s looking to build on that name by being incredibly entertaining off the field.

Spoiler alert: It’s working.

Lynch recently spent a day test driving expensive cars with some folks from Digital Trends, who filmed the experience in all its glory. The resulting video can be found above, and it starts off with a warning that the video contains “really explicit content.” That alone is a solid indication that it’s worth watching from beginning to end, even if you don’t give a damn about cars or football.

The near six-minute video is jam-packed full of amusing highlights. Here are some:

  • A story about Lynch driving away from a gas pump with the nozzle still attached to his car
  • “Mans don’t take selfies with mans.”
  • Marshawn provides advice on how to find a car that is great for receiving oral sex while driving
  • Lynch says he has a $400,000 “crash dummy car”

As someone who really enjoyed watching Lynch run the football every Sunday, I think I’m starting to come around on this whole retirement thing being the best idea for everyone.

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