09.02.09 9 years ago 10 Comments

Two weeks ago, Mets infielder David Wright caught a fastball with his head, giving him a concussion. Wright’s triumphant return to action last night was marred by the giant popcorn bowl that he decided to wear in lieu of the traditional batting helmet. Actually, it’s the new Rawlings S100 helmet, with the S presumably standing for “Stupidassed.”

It has an aerodynamic look, but it is slightly on the bulky side, and Wright admitted to some issues with the fit, particularly when running the bases. The helmet slipped down while he was running and flew off when he slid, prompting a suggestion that he add a chin strap.

“Those guys were laughing at me on the other side. Our guys were laughing at me. All the guys on the field were yelling at me, so everything’s back to normal I guess.” via, via.

Why stop at just a chinstrap? Why not put a face mask and one of those tinted eyeshields on there, too? Hey, don’t forget about the rest of the upper body. Get some shoulder pads on that guy! Hell, let’s just have him drive to the plate in an armored car and hang the bat out the window. Why is it when someone mutters the word “safety” that everyone flips out and abandons all common sense. The helmet is too big. Or maybe David Wright’s head is too small. If only there was something Wright could inject into his body to make his head a little bigger…

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