Dear Internet, we abbreciate your batience. Now let’s see who guessed right. B-hold!!!!! #IHOb pic.twitter.com/Fh3SkZ7s3Y
— IHOP (@IHOP) June 11, 2018
Our long national nightmare is over. The International House of Pancakes has finally explained what the “B” in their new name “IHOb” means. After a week of unbearable suspense and rampant speculation, “IHOb” announced via the tweet above that the “B” stands for… burgers.
Wow. Amazing. Burgers. Not “breakfast” or “bankruptcy” or even “BETRAYAL.” Nope. Burgers. That thing you definitely go there to jam into your gob when you need to eat your syrup-drenched feelings. My tattoo is ruined.
To be fair, pancakes are still on the menu, and only one location (on Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles) changed their signage; the stunt was done because IHOP wanted to draw attention [paywalled] to their new Ultimate Steakburgers. Is any attention good attention? Because, on Twitter, attention is exactly what they got:
“Hi, welcome to International House of Burgers, what can I get you?”
Me: pic.twitter.com/v1z4kIzx5p
— Shane Dahlstrom (@gelatoboii) June 11, 2018
https://twitter.com/timcarvell/status/1006166834545119232
https://twitter.com/BossyMatilda/status/1006227708710305792
— Preeti Chhibber is over on 🟦 ☁️ (@runwithskizzers) June 11, 2018
Even the social media teams of other restaurants were giving IHOP the business.
Not really afraid of the burgers from a place that decided pancakes were too hard.
— Wendy’s (@Wendys) June 11, 2018
Remember when you were like 7 and thought changing your name to Thunder BearSword would be super cool?
Like that, but our cheeseburgers are still better.— Wendy’s (@Wendys) June 11, 2018
.@IHOb A replica by definition cannot be as good as the original. The original #Steakburger was created by Steak ‘n Shake in 1934.
— Steak 'n Shake (@SteaknShake) June 11, 2018
As much as we love our pancakes, we'd never change our name to Whatapancake
— Whataburger® (@Whataburger) June 11, 2018
brb changing my name to Netflib
— Netflix (@netflix) June 11, 2018
dear internet
we have officially changed our name to Cake-umm because Steak-umm just wasn't doing it for us anymore or something
— Steak-umm (@steak_umm) June 11, 2018
Inspired by the International House of Burgers announcement, we are also changing our name (Please do not ask what it means — we don’t know either.) pic.twitter.com/0HPQtQirHn
— A&W Restaurants (@awrestaurants) June 11, 2018
But not everyone was here for those SHOTS FIRED from corporate Twitter.
Wake me when the brands start firing live ammo.
— crisp mattman (@cushbomb) June 11, 2018
I really just want to quit everything and create a six-part investigative podcast about the actual, secret lives of the people who run social media for all the fast food places.
— Sam Sanders (@samsanders) June 11, 2018
large companies’ social media teams tryna think of hilarious jokes to make about ihop changing its name pic.twitter.com/2gJHsq5T11
— educated shrimp (@yaperboi) June 11, 2018
And some proffered better ideas about how to respond to IHOP’s new name.
Wow, Denny’s is fighting back against IHOB with a stunt of its own pic.twitter.com/wAawCqwMGn
— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) June 11, 2018
https://twitter.com/BillyWayneDavis/status/1006242085823905792
https://twitter.com/blainecapatch/status/1006219150493011969
burger king should respond by changing its name to purger king. and make all crime legal in any purger king for 24 hours
— leon (@leyawn) June 11, 2018
Would be pretty cool if Shake Shack changed its name to Cake Shack and started making only pancakes
— Erik Tanouye (@toyns) June 11, 2018
https://twitter.com/HelloCullen/status/1006228418835439616
The lambasting of the name “IHOb” continued:
it sounds like iHop has a cold! I hobe it gets better soon
— Alexandra Petri (@petridishes) June 11, 2018
WAITRESS: *blows her nose into a pancake* Welcome to ihob
— sweaty five dollars (@iscoff) June 11, 2018
IHOP: We’re changing it to IHOB
Everyone: International House Of Breakfast isn’t bad
IHOB: BURGERS!!!! pic.twitter.com/iosPzknY6K
— GOATED 👐🏻 (@itsIGZ) June 11, 2018
heyyy whatsup folks my name is Danny I’ll be ur server today welcome to the international house of bees *releases huge box of bees*
— america's lounge singer (@KrangTNelson) June 11, 2018
https://twitter.com/tedalexandro/status/1006154218384683010
— Freezing Cold Takes (@OldTakesExposed) June 11, 2018
international house of backlash
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) June 11, 2018
We even got a visit from the LeBron James meme:
When you find out @IHOb will stand for 'International House of Burgers' pic.twitter.com/gBnJQDBTm4
— BLACK ADAM SCHEFTER (@B1ackSchefter) June 11, 2018
But some people were resigned to this new meatier reality:
International House of You're Stoned When You Eat Here We Can Feed You Dog Food and You'll Think It's Delicious So Shut-up
— Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) June 11, 2018
https://twitter.com/kumailn/status/1006175605174530048
Others pointed out how this just proves IHOP is a messy bitch who loves drama.
IHOb is the guy who gets a face tattoo of the girl’s name after 1 date
— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) June 11, 2018
https://twitter.com/jpbrammer/status/1006195156549332995
And look at this lying liar who lies:
https://twitter.com/briangaar/status/1006185050776506368
Some people noticed the new logo design is a bit of a mess as well:
International house of put women on your branding redesign team, guys pic.twitter.com/dIBlxMNTLu
— Louisa 🌈👭 (@LouisatheLast) June 11, 2018
So are we… do the burgers go inside our vaginas? pic.twitter.com/FlynHR8FJY
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) June 11, 2018
But some things are always dependable, like puns and cheap waffles:
This is pretty rare, but everyone's Int'l House of Burgers jokes are really well done.
— Aaron Eisenberg (@Eisentweet) June 12, 2018
yal hating on this ihop name change jus cause everyone else is doing it but guess where we gon be when we lit at 2:30 am and everything is closed? that's right. waffle house.
— Nate Z (@NathanZed) June 11, 2018
https://twitter.com/TheMikeLawrence/status/1006230028139597824