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The Inevitable ‘Pokémon Go’ VR Porn Parody Is Here To Corrupt Your Good Clean Fun

It’s been said that one hasn’t truly made it as an artist until they are the subject of a porn parody — I’m not sure who said it, but it’s definitely been said. Everything from movies like Independence Day (In-Da-Penis Day) and A Clockwork Orange (A Clockwork Orgy) to children’s cartoons (SpongeBob Squarenuts), classic albums (Sargent Pecker’s Lonely Hearts Gang Bang) and video games (Super Hornio Bros.) have been the recipients of a XXX parody over the years, so essentially, it was only a matter of time until a property as wildly popular as Pokémon Go fell in line.

As such, the synergistic geniuses over at HoloFilms Productions have just released Poké-mon Ho!, a 35-minute adult film catering to the only the loneliest of Pokémon trainers among us. According to Mashable, the film will follow “Pokémon trainer Misty (adult film star Penny Pax) as she tries to catch as many Pokémon as possible on her phone’s “Pokémon Ho” app.”

And here you thought that the idea of sexual predators using the app to lure children into their vans would be the creepiest thing you would hear all week. To which I say, you must not internet very often.

As she continues on her journey, she encounters what she thinks is a rare Pokemon. It turns out to be a human she is well acquainted with, and reveals who this special guy is at the very end.

I swear, if that “special guy” isn’t named Ass Stretchum, I will lose my freaking mind.

But that’s not all, for Poké-mon Ho is also available in a virtual reality format! As a Holofilms rep followed up, the Poké-mon Ho VR experience will “offer a point-of-view-perspective where you are a character in the story,” which is important bonus for those of you who might feel a bit removed from the experience of having a computer-animated Snorlax give you the business.

Meanwhile, my mind is already aflutter with all the possible porn names that could be applied to the actual Pokémon now that this ground-breaking technology has entered our lives: Poké-at-chu, Shamemander, Parasex, Dicklett (obviously), Testacool, Squirtle…….you don’t even need to change some of them!

(Via Mashable)

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