The hot topic on Thursday’s episode of The View was Donald Trump’s alleged “textbook generic” hotel tryst with adult film star Stormy Daniels that is reportedly about to be exposed in excruciating detail thanks to a 2011 interview Daniels (real name Stephanie Clifford) conducted with In Touch Weekly. According to a source who spoke with The Daily Beast, the 5,500 word transcript of the interview includes specifics such as what Trump is like in bed and — perhaps, most horrifyingly — what he’s like “down there.”
Naturally, the panel of mature, adult women were able to handle the sensitive subject with all of the delicacy it deserves. “The one thing I will say is that this hasn’t been corroborated by any major news outlets,” Meghan McCain, the voice of reason, pointed out. “ABC, Fox News, The Daily Beast, Slate all had the opportunity to run the story and decided not to.”
“Well she pulled out,” shot back Joy Behar, which caused McCain to almost lose it. “She pulled out Joy? She pulled out Joy? I’m trying to make a serious argument,” she said, breaking out into a fit of giggles. “And she may have been paid to pull out, too,” noted Sunny Hostin with a raised eyebrow, referring to the non-disclosure Daniels allegedly received $130,000 for signing — as well as possibly something else.
We ostensibly won’t have to speculate much further, as the In Touch interview is supposed to drop by the end of the week. Time to stock up on Jiffy Pop.