Welcome to your Cinco de Mayo cocktail roundup, where we won’t be celebrating Mexico’s Independence Day, because that’s not actually what Cinco de Mayo celebrates. There’s probably more than a few people at your festivities tonight who won’t know that the holiday actually commemorates the Mexican Army’s surprising victory over French forces in the 1862 Battle of Puebla. By the end of the night, there will probably more than a few people who won’t know a lot of things, except that they like margaritas. A lot. Which is why we’ve collected a lot of them for you. And for those of you who feel that you’ve been personally victimized by tequila in the past, we’ve got cocktails for you, too.