We already had confirmation that Vince McMahon insists on there being pee-pee and poo-poo jokes in his television product whenever humanly possible. But now thanks to his former right-hand man, Bruce Prichard, we also know that Vince is such a consummate professional that he’ll power through anything on TV, even if his pants are visibly full of accidental poop.
On a recent edition of Prichard’s Something to Wrestle With Bruce Prichard podcast, the onetime Brother Love talked about why Vince hated War Games (mostly because WCW came up with it, nothing surprising there), but he also far more interestingly talked about the time Vince McMahon accidentally pooped in his pants at Smackdown, then went out and appeared on television anyway. With poop in his pants.
“Well, he sharted, okay? He was going to fart and he sh*t. And he walks up the stairs to ‘gorilla’ and says, ‘Bruce, come here, pal.’ And I went, ‘yeah?’ And he lifted his jacket up and he says, ‘do you see anything?’ And I said, ‘yeah, you sh*t your pants.’ ‘Goddamnit! How about now?’ And he let his jacket down and I couldn’t see it. And he said, ‘do you think they’ll be able to tell?’ And I said, ‘I think if you keep your jacket on, you’ll be alright, buddy.’
“This was the last thing of the night, right before he went out. No, he went out and came back and took them off and, I guess, cleaned up. And Hunter chased Jerry Brisco around with the sh*tty underwear, and he put on some warmup pants.”
The matter-of-factness about the whole thing is really what sells it, in my opinion. Just the blasé attitude of “Oh, and then Triple H chased an elderly man around an arena with his boss’ poop.” Prichard’s story is very similar to one that Jim Ross shared on Opie and Anthony back in 2014, although SOME of the details are just different enough to think … maybe that was a DIFFERENT time Vince crapped his pants?
Per Ross:
“He won’t like me saying this, but [Vince] is really just a refined, rich redneck … Jerry [Brisco has] a very weak stomach … We’re in the Meadowlands doing Monday Night Raw in the height of Mr. McMahon’s [evil character]. He’s got his back to Brisco, who’s sitting at this table. And Brisco was the guy that timed the show out … So he turns his back to Brisco, and I’ll never forget it: Vince had a pair of khaki colored slacks, nice slacks, and probably a $5,000 sports coat, custom made. He’s waiting on his music cue, to make his walk to the ring. And so he turns his back to Brisco to deposit something in the air, and it got liquid. He sharted. He sharted.
“It still stunk, and Brisco still almost fell out of his chair, holding his stomach and dry heaving. So mission accomplished, except he’s wearing khakis, and he’s got a brown stain, the old racing skid mark, and he’s gotta go out and do his bit. So they told the [production] truck, and the truck started laughing, and of course no one in the truck had the balls to shoot it, so they had to shoot around [it]. So they told me and Lawler, ‘Hey, if you get a chance, look at the old man’s ass.’ So Lawler and I are sitting at ringside … one of the times Vince turned around, sure enough, we saw a little brown.
“It was just crazy. But that’s him!”
The stories diverge in a few ways: Ross says his shart story happened at Raw, while Prichard’s happened at Smackdown, and they both ended up happening at the expense of poor Jerry Brisco in the height of the Attitude Era. Vince was reportedly unhappy about Ross telling that story in 2014, but he probably got over it the next time he cracked off a really good fart and then laughed to himself for eight minutes.
The next time you’re wondering what Vince McMahon finds most funny in all the world, just remember: it’s dookie.
(h/t to Wrestling Inc. for the Bruce Prichard transcription)
