Whether you like football or not, we can all admit that Super Bowl Sunday is the only day out of the entire year that you’re actually allowed to get excited about ads. Nobody has patience for commercials between TV shows, before YouTube videos, or on the radio. We generally avoid them at all costs. And then — for one Sunday in February — we just collectively decide that they’re a good thing.
Is it the celebrity cameos? All the pizza? The emphasis on production? The moments that tug at our heartstrings? It’s probably a weird combination of all four of those things, plus a little nostalgia from an era when one good commercial could change a company’s fate. Regardless, it’s okay to admit that capitalism is in chaos mode and Super Bowl commercials can be fun — humans contain multitudes.
Since you’re probably not going to be spending the breaks in Sunday’s game actually watching commercials, you might as well watch them now. Or at least a few. To help you find the few that interest you, we’ve ranked every Super Bowl LV food and drink ad from worst to best.
24. Coors Light — Coors Big Game Commercial Of Your Dreams: Dream Study
Oh is that title too long for an ad? Well, guess what, the ad is too f*cking long too. No Coors, a 2:56 long commercial is not acceptable. This ad is essentially a documentary. Coors brings in a psychologist to talk about dreams and we’d tell you what happened at the end but we couldn’t make it all the way through.
23. Miller Lite — Ridiculous Long Calorie Burning Big Game URL
This ad is so obnoxious. It tries to force you to listen to it by being long and weird but you know what Miller Lite, this tactic didn’t work on us. There is some type of contest within this ad, but we don’t know what it is.
Luckily, the ads are all an improvement from here.
22. Rockstar Energy — Big Game 2021 w/ Lil Baby
We figured a lot of ads would center around COVID-19 but this effort by Rockstar is just a little too clunky. You’ve got Lil Baby spitting a sort of Seussian rap over ominous Christmas music while he delivers lines like:
“Real rockstars don’t chase the spotlight, it chases them.”
It’s definitely cool to show some love to first responders, medical professionals, and other essential workers, but it’s a little too heavy-handed and gives us no reason to want to drink Rockstar Energy, which we’re pretty sure is the actual point of a commercial.
21. Bud Light Seltzer — Last Year’s Lemons
We get it Bud Light, last year sucked. We’re watching the Super Bowl to forget that fact, though. So while we commend you for having a video where people get pelted in the face with lemons (which, okay, is hilarious), doing an ad about COVID brings up to much baggage.
20. Anheuser-Busch — Let’s Grab a Beer
We know the commercial is produced by David Fincher with a score by Atticus Ross, two award-winners and well-respected creators in their fields, but this ad is just grossly sappy. It’s the kind of idea that would’ve made for a great pitch scene in Mad Men, but there is a reason that show often showed us the pitch and not the ad itself.
If you like sappy ads, this one might have you in your feelings. But for our tastes, it’s just a little sappy and slow.
19. Budweiser — Bigger Picture
Budweiser isn’t airing an ad on Super Bowl Sunday. Instead, they’re airing an ad before Super Bowl Sunday and using the money they would’ve spent on the big ad placement toward raising COVID-19 vaccine awareness.
We’re down for that cause.
18. Chipotle — Can A Burrito Change The World?
If this ad title has you rolling your eyes, it’s not quite as heavy-handed as it sounds. The ad is pretty humorous and touts Chipotle’s mission to reduce carbon emissions, save water and support local farmers but it also ironically makes you forget you’re watching an ad about food.
This feels more like an ad about Chipotle the brand, rather than Chipotle the fast-food joint — probably a solid play for the company considering their current food-related reputation.
17. Samuel Adams — Horses
Horses are released from a harness — which we think might be some kind of dig at Budweiser — and they go tearing through the streets of Boston. There’s not too much to this one, but we’re left wanting to try that Sam Adams Wicked Hazy IPA, so … success!
16. Oikos Pro — Ugly Face
Weird ad. All we can say really. It gets points for being so bizarre that we’re intrigued though.
15. Pepsi — Pepsi Halftime Show
Pepsi doesn’t need to run an ad during the Super Bowl because the brand sponsors the half-time show which, if you haven’t noticed, is essentially a giant Pepsi ad. In anticipation of this weekend’s show with The Weeknd, Pepsi is launching this ad where everyone can’t help themselves from singing The Weeknd’s “Blinding Lights.”
We love it just for the dancing dude at the end.
14. Pringles — 2021 Flavor Stacking Space Return Ad
Stranded astronauts can’t be saved because literally everyone they can call on for help is too busy stacking Pringles. Which… Did you know that the Pringles guy is bald? I didn’t. All this time I thought the Pringles guy was rocking a middle part but it turns out — according to the brand new logo design — that those were actually his eyebrows. All of this time I never knew the Pringles guy was bald.
We digress. Solid ad.
13. Michelob ULTRA — “Happy” Super Bowl
Iconic photos of some of your favorite sports stars like Serena Williams, Anthony Davis, and Tiger Woods are shared over A Tribe Called Quest’s “Can I Kick It?” With a voice-over about loving the game. What more can you ask for on a Super Bowl Sunday?
12. Cutwater Spirits — Cut Out with Cutwater
It’s kind of refreshing to see a Super Bowl ad that has nothing to do with the big game or sports at all and isn’t overly sentimental. This is just a good ad about Cutwater’s canned spirits that make you want to crack open a can on your next camping trip.
Sweet escapism.
11. Pizza Hut — Order the $10 Tastemaker Online Today
Craig Robinson combines PacMan and pizza and reminds us all why we love him so much.
10. Mountain Dew — Counting MTN Dew Major Melon with John Cena
In this teaser ad, John Cena pulls up in a pink and green convertible and tells us about how we can win $1,000,000 by counting all the bottles of Mountain Dew’s new Major Melon soda during the brand’s Super Bowl ad spot. It’s weird, bizarre, and fun so we’re giving it a pass, even though it’s an ad about an ad.
9. Stella Artois — Heartbeat Billionaire
It’s just a feel-good ad about investing your time with the people and things you love, but it’s also a reminder that Lenny Kravitz wrote “It Ain’t Over ’Til It’s Over,” which is a great song.
8. Uber Eats — Wayne’s World & Cardi B’s Shameless Manipulation
In this Uber Eats ad Wayne’s World’s Wayne and Garth are joined by Cardi B as they try to subliminally trick you into eating local. It’s fun if-not-slightly-disturbing to watch an old Wayne and Garth, and Cardi B acts as the perfect accompaniment.
Make this a real show and we’d watch it in a heartbeat.
7. Bud Light Legends — Super Bowl LV
This ad answers the question: “what if even our beer commercials were comic book movies?” Take that how you want.
6. Frito Lay — ’Twas The Night Before Super Bowl
Marshawn Lynch remixes ’Twas The Night Before Christmas and is joined by NFL legends like Peyton and Eli Manning, Jerome Bettis, Joe Montana, and Terry Bradshaw who remind everyone that professional athletes are the worst actors In the game.
It’s so bad it’s good.
5. M&M’s — Come Together
People apologize to people and offer them M&M’s as consolation, it’s cute. Then it’s revealed that Dan Levy is an M&M kidnapping maniac, so we’re going to go ahead and call this one a hit.
4. Cheetos — It Wasn’t Me
This ad teaches us three things: Ashton Kutcher can’t sing, Mila Kunis is disgusting, and “It Wasn’t Me” by Shaggy is still, ridiculous lyrics and all, a banger.
Everyone in this ad is fully committed to the bit and it’s better for it.
3. Jimmy John’s — Meet the King
This ad is a bit long but Brad Garrett playing Tony Bolognavich talking trash and calling Jimmy John’s “Jimmy’s Johns” feels like the Safdie brothers film we need.
2. Michelob ULTRA Organic Seltzer — “All Star-Cast”
We don’t want to give away the joke so we’ll just say, you’re not going to want to miss this star-studded minute-long ad starring Don Cheadle.
1. Doritos 3D — Flat Matthew Super Bowl LV
3D Doritos are back and to celebrate they’ve launched this weird commercial where a flat 2D Matthew McConaughey does a whole bunch of things that look funny for a flat Matthew McConaughey to do over Queen’s “I Want To Break Free.”
This short one-minute ad convinces us that if this was an actual comedy series, it might be comedy gold. It’s Matthew McConaughey’s most compelling work since those Lincoln commercials.
