Life

We Tried Burger King’s Cheetos Chicken Fries So You Don’t Have To (Really, You Don’t Have To)



Cheetos Chicken Fries
have arrived. On Monday, news of Burger King’s strange new mashup hit the Interwebs, and prompted much excitement and revulsion from the masses. I for one, was hyped. Hopeful. Optimistic, even, after tasting firsthand the mistake that was the Whopperrito. The most exciting bit: I barely had to wait for my Cheetos Chicken Fries — they made their big debut today.

You know I was there before breakfast even ended. Literally.

I rolled into the drive-thru, eager for my Cheetos Chicken Fries, at quarter past nine. After I ordered (asking for a side of Ranch, because I figured that was the only logical option), the drive-thru worker told me to pull around to the front, because it was going to take five minutes to fry the Cheetos Chicken Fries up, and they didn’t want me jamming up their line. (Well, she didn’t tell me that last part. But I assumed.)

So I waited patiently, until my pieces of pre-breaded Chicken were fried in oil and coated in Cheetos dust. I was about to enter fast food Nirvana. I prepared myself for the best, opened the box, and partook of my first chicken fry, fresh and warm from the deep-fryer.

It was…underwhelming.

I don’t think I’ve ever actually ordered regular Chicken Fries from Burger King before, so I can’t say how they compare, but I can say that these tasted nothing like Cheetos. They were crunchy, yes — if a bit overdone. The exterior crust was bland, barely even salty, giving way to a spongy white meat interior. I put my Cheetos Chicken Fries box back in the bag and drove home, ready to test them out with the Ranch. (And, you know, take pictures for posterity.)

Photographed on my balcony for ~*natural lighting*~ purposes.

Here’s the funny thing about that drive home: the box absolutely smelled up the car, giving it a wonderful aroma of fried fast food with an overtone of cheese dust. By the time I pulled into my parking garage fifteen minutes later, I wanted those Cheetos Chicken Fries again. Maybe I’d been wrong about them. Maybe Ranch dressing was the secret dip that would unlock the flavor.

Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. If anything, dipping the Cheetos Chicken Fries in the Ranch made their flavor disappear altogether. Still, though, I dipped. And then I dipped some more, longing for the easier days of summer, when the weather was fine, Mac n’ Cheetos were still on the menu, and the salty tang of artificial cheese flowed in abundance.

Yeah, I even finished those two fries resting on the concrete of the balcony. The crisp breading makes the fry impermeable, anyway.

In the end, I did finish the entire box. (Which, you’ll notice, contained eleven Cheetos Chicken Fries— one is missing from the picture because I consumed it outside the restaurant — instead of the standard nine. Burger King is nothing, if not generous.) Did I love myself for finishing it? No. But I’m a sodium and fat-fried addict, and the first step to recovery is admission.

I’m not the only one who was disappointed. Instagram user poweredbyicecream essentially had the same reaction as I did, but caught it on video:

User markodapolo said of the fries “eh you can’t really taste the Cheetos. 4/10 wouldn’t get it again.”

And jrockheaven called them both dry and not as good as Mac N’ Cheetos (I definitely agree with both those points).

Twitter users eager to try out the new Burger King offering had similar reactions:

Conclusion:

I won’t get them again. But…I would consider making my own version of Cheetos-coated chicken fingers at home, if it means the breading would actually be dangerously cheesy. And one more thing: any time Burger King wants to offer another Cheetos mashup, I’m there. I don’t hold grudges when it comes to fake cheese.

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