If there’s one thing we already know, it’s that people aren’t having sex nearly as much as we think they are. And aside from millennials (who appear to be doing much better in that department than previously thought), lots of us are probably sitting around right now, using the last few minutes of our workdays to lament, “man, I am getting way less sex than all those movies advertised.” But there’s an easy fix, friend. All you have to do is get on a sex schedule. Not next week. Not tomorrow. Right now.
A sex schedule — it’s exactly what it sounds like — might seem a bit weird (after all, sex is supposed to be fun and spontaneous and require at least one cup of whipped cream), but according to one expert, it’s really the only way to ensure that you’re getting as much fornication as you need and deserve from life.
Writing for CNN, here’s what psychologist Ian Kerner had to say about the sex rut you may currently have found yourself in:
Sex is the glue that holds us together, and without it, couples can begin to feel like roommates or “just friends” at best. In my experience, when couples stop having sex, their relationships become vulnerable to a host of other threats, including anger, emotional detachment, infidelity and even divorce.
Oh sh*t, that sounds serious. And it’s probably even worse right now, during the holidays, when everyone is so stressed out about everything and the lines at the shopping mall are too long and you didn’t get as much of a holiday bonus as you hoped and the only thing you want to do when you get home is lay down on the bed quietly and not talk to anyone, much less let your significant other touch you in any meaningful way.
Before you panic, Kerner’s got some good news, too:
The great thing about ruts, though, is that you can climb your way out of them. “Research shows that couples who communicate well with each other are better able to navigate sex ruts so their happiness and satisfaction aren’t seriously affected,” said sex researcher Kristen Mark.