In a move that pushes the boundaries of using “meat to contain more meat” past the standard set by the infamous Double Down, Taco Bell has started selling tacos with fried chicken “tortillas” in select locations. Reddit user Cheez4444 found one of these in the wild and has photographic evidence:
The Naked Crispy Chicken Taco is the latest shot fired in an ever-escalating war between fast food restaurants in the battle for American hearts, minds, and stomachs. Within the past year, McDonald’s announced their breakfast is available all day, Kentucky Fried Chicken unveiled the monstrous Double Down Dog (because there is absolutely zero value in learning from past mistakes), and Burger King just wants everyone to make peace so the madness will end.
And while Taco Bell has had a long, occasionally glorious, history of creating unorthodox vessels for their ground meat, the Naked Crispy Chicken Taco is so strange, fundamentally unhealthy, and overwhelmingly silly, that I can’t decide if it will be disgusting or a masterpiece forged by the troubled mind of a creative genius.
Not unlike the movies of John Waters
So far, there have only been confirmed sightings of the Naked Crispy Chicken Taco in Lost Hills and Bakersfield, Calif., so I can not directly report on whether this shocking creation is as delicious as it sounds or if it will live in infamy, along with KFC’s Famous Bowl and the fast food industry’s other failed innovations. But the more I look at that husk of golden, fried deliciousness cradling all that inexplicably tasty Taco Bell ground beast, I know that I have to try one. In fact, I would almost drive to Bakersfield to sample something this momentous and daring. [I wouldn’t (because, Bakersfield) but I definitely thought about it for a moment, and that’s saying something.]
While the nation awaits the spread of the Naked Crispy Chicken Taco (like so much coronary plaque), I can’t help thinking about the many new, exciting, and borderline-horrible culinary developments fast food companies are brewing for the future.
Like a straw molded entirely from McRib scraps at McDonald’s.
Or a plate made from a weave of onion rings at Carl’s Jr.
Or a baked potato stuffed inside a larger baked potato submerged in a bucket of chili at Wendy’s.
Or a ladle full of caramel sauce poured directly into your open hand for an additional 89¢ with the purchase of any value meal at Dairy Queen.
Or, maybe the time has finally come for this genius idea to be unleashed on the world:
What new fast food development would you like to see? Share your best guess in the comments section.
