Want To Avoid A Messy Breakup? This Company Will End Your Relationship For You!


Breaking up is hard to do, but if you want to avoid all that emotional disruption and spend your day doing more entertaining things, there’s a company that’s more than happy to end your relationship for you. The Breakup Shop offers a variety of services in the very reasonable price range of $10 to $40, all of which will tell your significant other that he or she is no longer so significant. None of the services involve a face-to-face confrontation; the breakup can be announced via “text, email, phone or an actual physical letter” and can be rushed for an additional $5 for an email and $10 for everything else.

And no, unlike the fighting app Rumblr, this is not a hoax. The Breakup Shop is very real and, much to my surprise, run by a pair of Canadian brothers. (I thought you guys were supposed to be nice?) And if you still want to have some input on the breakup, that’s not out of the question:

Customers have the option to craft their own personal messages with the company’s “expert breakup team,” or said experts can write the message themselves with the customer’s inputs. It’s like a dystopian version of the movie Her.

But that’s not all! There are also consolation prizes for the dumpee in the form of Gifts for Exes. Maybe it should say “Newly-Minted Exes,” but who’s counting? Among the choices for the recently dumped are The Notebook on Blu-ray, a Netflix gift card, chocolate chip cookies, and a pair of wine glasses, which, I’m sorry, is just adding insult to injury.

The founders (who did not provide their full names) say that after one of them was ghosted by a girl, he was frustrated by being left hanging so he figured if “people use services like Tinder to get in relationships, why didn’t a service like Tinder exist for getting out of them?”

“A lot of people these days think providing that text or call is not really necessary any more…it’s kind of nice to get some of that closure.”

But without the conversation taking place in person, isn’t this still a form of ghosting? By putting in the most minimal effort and enlisting the help of someone else to get that closure? It’s like ghosting with a body — zombing. This is zombing. Is zombing better than ghosting? I’d say check with your ex, but that’s clearly not a conversation you want to have if you’re a Breakup Shop patron.

Source: Mashable