The Madness Unfolding In Philadelphia Was Chronicled On #PhillyPoliceScanner

FX / Twitter

Slather every available surface with Crisco before somebody climbs it, because the Philadelphia Eagles won the Super Bowl and fans in Philly are losing their minds. We already rounded up some videos of the celebration, but Twitter users were also following the Philadelphia Police scanner to keep abreast of the unfolding anarchy. This has gone past kerfuffle, through hullabaloo, and into riot territory.

Some of the events were recounted in the #PhillyPoliceScanner hashtag.

It was a night of many heists. And no heist can get Twitter in a dither like animal heists and escapes can:

https://twitter.com/chefbpd/status/960401970925330432

Things escalated quickly.

https://twitter.com/HollyAbair/status/960403559853580288

Despite everyone’s attempts to prevent climbers by greasing surfaces ahead of time, no lightpole was safe:

https://twitter.com/michael_hendrix/status/960372793455075328

https://twitter.com/AugustusThe3rd/status/960393208030167040

It’s going to be hard to prosecute some of these suspects, however…

And yes, so many people climbed on the canopy at the Ritz-Carlton that it collapsed.

https://twitter.com/michael_hendrix/status/960371239058591744

That wasn’t the only quotable quote making the rounds:

https://twitter.com/mrsw227/status/960379767412477955

But let those among us who have never been guilty of doing this cast the first bottle.

https://twitter.com/michael_hendrix/status/960376156724891649

And it wouldn’t be a sports riot without some random chain retailers getting vandalized:

Then somebody brought their four-year-old out into this madness (don’t do that) then lost track of her (especially don’t do that). Thankfully, she was quickly found.

Not only were families reunited, but new ones were getting started. Some guy proposed marriage:

Plenty of people were genuinely mad about the whole thing, and not without good reasons.

https://twitter.com/thetruthhurtscc/status/960395269538971648
https://twitter.com/StarrburyMike/status/960369309146058753

We can’t have nice things.

https://twitter.com/misslaneym/status/960417483898408960

https://twitter.com/JTillinghouse/status/960381512108691456

If only this tense situation could have been calmed with cola beverages and Kardashian half-sisters.

https://twitter.com/BridgetPhetasy/status/960411738578366465

Best of luck to all first responders stuck in this. You the real MVP.

https://twitter.com/BridgetPhetasy/status/960395998399840256
https://twitter.com/bradfieldhaley/status/960406810279718913

Please, Philly. Think of the biscuits.

(Via #PhillyPoliceScanner)

Have you checked out our With Spandex podcast?

[protected-iframe id=”c6ccfdc704f3392193817d7ddf7c2799-60970621-10222937″ info=”https://omny.fm/shows/mcmahonsplaining/episode-25-eric-bischoff/embed?style=artwork” width=”100%” height=”180″ frameborder=”0″]