Hundreds Of Drunk Americans Washed Up On Canadian Shores In Colorful Floatation Devices

08.22.16 3 years ago 4 Comments

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Poor Canada. Not only do our friends up north have to worry about hoards of Americans invading their borders should Donald Trump become president, they also have to deal with hundreds of drunk Yanks washing up half naked on their shore.

Close to 1,500 Americans recently found themselves shipwrecked in Sarnia, Ontario after strong winds disrupted an annual river float.

For the past 39 years, Michigan natives have taken part in something called the Port Huron Float Down. The event is basically just an excuse for locals to get rip-roaring drunk and float down the St. Clair River in their choice of inflatables. If the combination of alcohol, inner tubes, an unruly body of water and dumb Americans sounds like a recipe for disaster, you’d be right.

During this year’s float-a-thon, strong winds pushed the questionably sober seafarers a bit too far east, shipwrecking them on foreign soil.

The local Sarnia police department live-tweeted the whole fiasco as they tried to safely return the revelers back to their home country.

Man, Canadians are so nice, even when a thousand drunk illegal immigrants swarm their beaches.

Peter Garapick with the Canadian Coast Guard told the Sarnia Observer a few of the floaters panicked once they realized they were in a foreign country without their passports.

“Those were the people we had our eye on, because they were just jumping in and saying, ‘I’m swimming back home,'” Garapick said.

It sounds like everyone’s on their way to safely returning to Michigan — though they’re probably going to have some fun going back through U.S. customs. The Port Huron Float Down’s Facebook page thanked the Canadian police for their kindness and understanding:

The moral of this story: Canada is really too good for us (and bring an oar with you whenever you plan to get wasted and traverse international waters).

(Via Buzzfeed)

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