“I will smoosh you. And then, I will eat you.”
Gather up your dragon egg looking fruit (technically a berry) and do a little dance! With twice as much potassium as a banana, four whopping grams of protein, and the ability to disguise itself as butter, the avocado’s nature-defying awesomeness deserves to be celebrated.
Part 1: History Lesson
“I like round fruit and I cannot lie.”
Europeans discovered avocados when Cortez landed in the Americas in the sixteenth century. Of course, Native Americans had been eating avocados for centuries. One can only hope that they saw Cortez pick one up excitedly and were all “Pfffff we’ve been eating those forever, Noob”. But probably not because Cortez was about to use the avo-based energy burst to do all sorts of terrible conquistador stuff. Like causing the fall of the Aztec Empire.
Excavators have unearthed avocado pits in Peru that date to before 900 AD. They’re weren’t the Hass we’re used to but a closer relative to the Fuerte – a greener even fattier version of the avocado.