Chipotle Is Giving Away Free Queso To Win Back Your Love

*sigh* Look, Chipotle, we appreciate the love. You keep screwing us over, making us physically ill, then trying to sneak back into our lives with free food. Countless times we have tried to end it with you, and foolishly, you try to entice us with new menu options and comped treats. We told you the first time that the queso is “meh.” So now, you’re trying to creep back into our lives by changing the recipe and kicking it to us for free if we come to the restaurant dressed in a “cheesy” sweater?

We know, we know. You’ve “changed” and you’re going to do better this time. We want to believe you, really, we do, but the damage may be done. It may be worth throwing on an ugly sweater to see exactly how much you’ve changed, but since queso wasn’t the original issue and we have to buy an entree to receive the queso, should we really take our chances with a burrito or bowl?

Fine, fine. We’ll consider going on a date December 12 since that’s the only day the queso will be free, but you had better impress us. We may not be so generous next time.