Millennials don’t have it easy. Between shrinking wages and skyrocketing student loans, it’s no wonder they’re considered disenfranchised, looking to buck the system. Now, the cynicism can be turned up to 11, because “thinkfluencers” are here to ravage Corporate America’s wallet. All this is to say that there are currently “Millennial consultants” charging as much as $25,000 per billable hour to teach companies what the younger generation wants.
The Wall Street Journal reports that corporations ranging from Oracle to Red Robin are all trying to figure out how to make these 20 and 30-somethings happy. Via the article:
“Millennial issues also have become a source of income for a host of self-anointed experts who say they can interpret young workers’ whims and aspirations—sometimes for as much as $20,000 an hour. Oracle, Red Robin Gourmet Burgers Inc. and Time Warner Inc.’s HBO have retained millennial advisers to stem turnover, market to young people and ensure their happiness at work.”
And who do these companies hire to tell them what the young folks want? Mainly old folks who are hip to our Vines and dat boi memes. I hate to narc on my entire generation like this but here’s a tip: an actual Millennial would give you better insight for so much less money. Hell, I’d explain all the acronyms to anyone willing to buy me a Pub Sub.
Actually, here’s the two things that Millennials want laid out in plain speech:
1. Realize that a 40-hour week doesn’t make much sense as we move further and further away from a manufacturing-based economy.
2. Pay well enough that we can afford to pay back our student loans.
That’s it. Please make all checks payable to Mr. Macintosh.
