Can A Month On The ‘Moon Juice Diet’ Make You Into A Sacred Forest Pixie?

Just in time for the new year, Uproxx presented me with a mission: I was to eat and drink exclusively from Amanda Chantal Bacon’s Moon Juice Cookbook for a month, then report my findings. Moon Juice, if you don’t know, is an uber-trendy store in Los Angeles, filled with expensive juices and bespoke products, regularly frequented by crystal-stealing celebrities.

The shop’s founder, the aforementioned Amanda Chantal Bacon, is beautiful by any standard. She is thin and has a kind but powerful look about her — like she’s used to taking a lot of shit but has learned to let it slide off her back where it collects into a rose-scented pool of dew. This is why she inspires so much ire in addition to admiration. Google her and you’ll quickly find a slew of criticism for her esoteric health brand.

My interest, along with that of many others’, was sparked by a “food diary” which appeared in Elle Magazine in May of 2015. Bacon cited silver nettle and calendula tea, Shilajit resin, bee pollen, and zucchini ribbons as a few of the foods she consumes on a daily basis. Social media went wild. Zero carbs, zero dairy, zero meat? She must be evil, nay, the very devil.

As a result of that article, she was roundly mocked for being out of touch. There was even a video of a man doing yoga while quoting the piece, as the dollars racked up each time he mentioned another tincture or tea. Amanda Chantal Bacon is the result of self-mastery and self-care, extreme self-control and making one’s own chocolate from raw cacao on a regular basis, and because she looks like the model ideal, people couldn’t help but freak out.

I’m certain I’m not alone, but for my part, I was both fascinated and revolted. Give up all the things I love and subsist on seaweed rolls, juices, and avocados? Would I, could I do that for clean physical energy and a killer body? This I wondered as I ate a chocolate ganache brownie. The part of me that lives on cheese and bread was outraged at the suggestion. The part of me that indulges in steak and French fries hated the whole concept.

As soon as I had these unkind, judgmental thoughts, I was hit with a wave of guilt and made myself buy a few of her products to ward off any spiritual debt. Although I was curious, I never used them and they sat in my cupboard until I got the call for this article.

I believe things come around, karma-style. Raised in a hippie town where I attended bonfires and witnessed interpretive dance on the regular, the ethereal girls I grew up with have haunted me my whole life. I both admire and revile them, so something about Amanda Chantal Bacon triggered a deep bruise. It’s that I can never be that. It’s that I could not possibly wind my body into a corkscrew and howl at the moon with any seriousness.

Being presented with the Moon Juice Cookbook challenge after I’ve been secretly a little obsessed with Amanda Chantal Bacon while also resenting what looks like her easy relationship to both food and herself (a woman who is promoted by the likes of Gwyneth Paltrow, another willowy goddess type who enjoys vagina steamings) well, this was fate, a chance for me to look deeper at what I’m capable of in terms of personal growth and the release of old judgments. Maybe, I thought, I’d been cheating myself and my body, eating the way I did. Maybe with a little more commitment and creativity, I too, could become the perfect being.